Mormon Masturbate

Giving ones self the dutch rudder in order to avoid the guilt of blowing a load and becoming impure. This way it can be claimed you have not hammered on yourself. In the line of weird ways to avoid impurity, it is below soaking.

I was about to mormon masturbate before passing out when Jane walked in and told me she was down to soak.

by young gooch September 7, 2010

masturbate

Scratch your itch, diddle the skittle, wanking

"Wut r ur plans for tonite rhonda?"
"No plans. Prolly gonna sit at home n' masturbate."

by GypsieGurl7892 April 30, 2014

verbally masturbate

(v.) to derive excessive pleasure by dominating a conversation, usually through bragging and a demonstration of extreme knowledge of a subject, lording it over other people

Dan couldn't stop verbally masturbating to Incubus; he even asked me what "A Certain Shade of Green" was about, despite knowing for a fact that I had never heard the song.

by The Ox June 5, 2003

masturbate

to pleasure oneself; to extract semen manually

Today Johnny wanted to masturbate, but was worried that his mother would catch him and tell him that he would go blind.

by Skeet Masta May 17, 2006

masticate

Masticate means to eat something. Sounds a lot like mastrubate. Put MASTICATE and WENIS in a sentence together, and it sounds wondermous.

"Do you masticate with your wenis on the table?"

by Tierney October 2, 2007

Masturbate

Put some mayonaise on the knuckle sandwich, shake hands with uncle dick

I was putting some mayonaise on my knuckle sandwich when my mom walked in

by Humpty August 17, 2003

Masturbate

Waxing the Turtle or shaving the carrot.

Frederick woke up with a boner so he went in the bathroom and waxed his turtle.

He really needed to blow his load so he shaved the carrot in the shower.

"It means masturbate if you haven't got that ar tard!"

by PeckMcGee October 14, 2008