Wank muppet

The sock you use to cover your cock which catches your cum when masturbating.

He is such a wank muppet!

by Christophlambpie August 15, 2023

Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021

Pokey chokey bum wank

To combine 2 sexual acts for one dose of heightened pleasure a pokey bum wank combined with self asphyxiation by the use of vigorously inserting ones finger in an out of one's own anus whilst furiously pleasuring ones own man truncheon with the other hand and at roughly a minute before the point of unbridled ecstasy lean forward on the pre attached belt (hung from the light fitting before the start of the act) choking one's self out and at the point of the act of cumming releasing the pressure on the belt giving you the pleasure of a good pokey and a good bit of asphyxiation admittedly it is a lot of effort but after a few goes it gets easier to set up ideally a spare bedroom is available so you can just leave the equipment ready and waiting not for the feint of hearted and not recommended to do without letting someone know what you have planned (maybe phone up one of your parents and ask if they could stay on the line to make sure release was in good time if a bit late they can phone the relevant emergency service)

I really enjoy a good pokey chokey bum wank but I love a bit of asphyxiation sex too if only there was a way I could enjoy both at the same time (idea form's) just maybe there is a way it might take some time and effort but just think of the pleasure maybe just maybe it might be worth a bit of experimentation to see what is the worst that can happen
(any attempt to do this is at one's own risk and no amount of expensive no cash up front lawyers can help to sue until a safety bracket can be set up maybe one for some entrepreneurs to try pitch to the dragons den)

by Jack Mehoff jizz mater general August 30, 2018

wank waste

The sperm from masturbation that would be discarded in a tissue and thrown away.

To call someone a 'wank waste' would be to insinuate that they are unworthy sperm or a worthless human undeserving of the life they have.

you fucking wank waste!

I knew you'd fuck it up wank waste!

wank waste!

by Smokaloca March 19, 2011

wank nipples

it is self explanatory when you splooge over a birds tit and it runs down the nipples,
also used when playing slender the arrival and u shit urself

something jumps out at you , "aaah wank nipples",

by bung the booce November 13, 2014

Wank

The collective noun for a group of cyclists.

I went to the coffee shop, but it was overfilled with a wank of cyclists

by TMarts75 December 29, 2024

piss wank

To piss/cum whilst asleep.

Waking up wet and the mid-drift is piss wank, wet.

by Jam Head October 16, 2009