Deliveroo and wank

The apotheosis of living for the modern middle aged family man. Netflix and chill, for husbands who have long ago abandoned both erotic frisson and euphemism.

"The wife's away, so I'm going to treat myself to a Deliveroo and wank."

"You mean..."

"Yes, a lukewarm curry followed by furious self abuse."

by bighairyotter August 10, 2021

Gypsy wank

Masterbating in a caravan

Oh I love it at haven; can't beat a gypsy wank!

by Lanky cass July 15, 2017

debrief wank

A "debrief wank" is the post-mission solo celebrational personal victory lap after an evening of sexual activity/romance. Where you give yourself a standing ovation/high five for a successful mission ‘a job well done’ in the field of pleasure – the grand finale to a night of shared exploits, “the solo encore to a duet of delight”.

So, you know that amazing night with Ellie? Well, I had to wrap it up with a debrief wank – like a way to commemorate the successful.

by Japseyelicker123 December 11, 2023

Wank

To gently roll the knuckle over the little champion.

“Our friend Rooter was that horny he had to duck off to the bathroom to gently roll the knuckle over the little champion, to have a wank”

by Kenneth99 January 3, 2024

volcan mind wank

when one masturbates without actually touching him/her self

look up andy hoad on facebook he likes to volcan mind wank

by go go gadget dick April 12, 2011

Post wank vision

Post-wank vision helps improve your judgement on relationship decisions when your horny. When you take off the ‘wank goggles’ your mind will be clearer, allowing you to assess relationship decisions based on there true attributes (and not just her fine ass).

Eoghan: *thinks to himself* awwwwww fuck that took way too long. Thank god for twins.

Eoghan text: mate, my post wank vision suggests I should keen this chick around.

Andrew M: nice move mate, all big calls should be made with a clear mind.

What time will I meet you for the McGregor fight?

by Some mate1 January 26, 2020

Wanked

The past tense form of wink

He wanked at me earlier today

by Adolf Hitler is cute November 8, 2019