a nigel danger wank
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Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
Share definition
Nigel was in his bedroom and he shouted downstairs, Mum(deceased and rotten) call the fucking police there's a madman with a set of steak knives hacking me to pieces. As soon as nigel heard her scream he dropped his trousers and commenced the danger wank. As nigel heard mummy stomp up the stairs nigel knew he had to be quick so he upped the pace, as nigel heard her stumble on the top step, which bought him some time. Unfortunately nigel timed his finish badly. As nigels mum barged through the door armed with a rolling pin nigel chugged all over mummy. nigel spent the evening in A&E with concusion.
by mrs tosser October 7, 2025
Get the a nigel danger wank..mug. by TheLittleDickToucher March 6, 2017
Get the public wankingmug. A Wank of MAMILs. The collective term to describe a group of middle aged men in Lycra who cycle together. It generally comprises of males aged between 40 & 60 years of age wearing matching Lycra tops and shorts. To be a member of this grouping, members must have a bike between $7000 & $10000 in value. These group are regularly found inhabiting cafes in the early morning hours with their shirts undone to their navels and wearing sunglasses that cost more than an average person’s weekly wage. The usual sounds emanating from a wank of mamils involves bravado using terms like “managed funds”, “options trading” and FX rates.
Oh look the reason the cafe is so busy this morning is because we have a wank of mamils with their bikes clogging the footpath.
by Cycle,lover January 23, 2021
Get the Wankmug. wanking to material you would usually find to be 'rank', or disgusting, but still managing to finish
Friend 1: I watched a porno last night where a pregnant chick was getting fucked anally against a brick wall, and then she went into labour.
Friend 2: Wow, that sounds disgusting.
Friend 1: Yeah, it was a pretty rank wank.
Friend 2: Wow, that sounds disgusting.
Friend 1: Yeah, it was a pretty rank wank.
by kingbiscuit December 25, 2012
Get the rank wankmug. I make money nowadays wanking. No, not in the British sense - I post backlinks to companies in exchange for equity.
by jzekyll March 31, 2021
Get the wankmug. An arse wank is when you stick your fingers in your arse and have a wank. You can either stick your fingers in your arse and wank your cock, or stick your fingers in your arse and move them in and out and wank your arse.
Oh gosh I had such an arse wank last night, my arsehole exploded and it looks like the mariana's trench!
by Poosymonster March 7, 2024
Get the Arse Wankmug. by RaNDOMDUE23442312 March 21, 2017
Get the Spank-Wankedmug.