In today's day and age we don't have time to do our daily activities. We must learn to multitask in order to be as efficient as possible. How could one possibly expand their anus and make Pillsbury brand biscuits at the same time if not by the use of the Pillsbury Baking Process. The goal of the process is simple; it is not only to stretch out ones rectum, but also to bake some nice, crispy Pillsbury brand biscuits in the meantime.
The steps are as follows:
Step 1: Insert an unopened tin container of Pillsbury Brand Biscuits up your anus, be sure to open the sphincter to avoid causing damage.
Step 2: Once the tin is entirely submerged within the lining of your anus, go for an extensive period of exercise. Go for a run, a mountain bike adventure, or whatever your heart desires. The goal is to raise your internal body temperature.
Step 3: During the height of your workout, if all steps of the process were done correctly you will hear a significant *pop* sound. Do not worry. This is natural as the tin has opened thanks to the significant increase in pressure due to the increase in surrounding temperature.
Step 4: Let the biscuits drop onto the floor and be prepared to enjoy your new anus AND your fresh biscuits.
The steps are as follows:
Step 1: Insert an unopened tin container of Pillsbury Brand Biscuits up your anus, be sure to open the sphincter to avoid causing damage.
Step 2: Once the tin is entirely submerged within the lining of your anus, go for an extensive period of exercise. Go for a run, a mountain bike adventure, or whatever your heart desires. The goal is to raise your internal body temperature.
Step 3: During the height of your workout, if all steps of the process were done correctly you will hear a significant *pop* sound. Do not worry. This is natural as the tin has opened thanks to the significant increase in pressure due to the increase in surrounding temperature.
Step 4: Let the biscuits drop onto the floor and be prepared to enjoy your new anus AND your fresh biscuits.
Son: Mother, I heard a popping noise come from your tuchus, did you happen to break your hip?
Mother: Do not be afraid, young child. For I was just using the Pillsbury Baking Process to craft some rolls for our family dinner on this fine evening. Would you like one?
Son: Oh hell yeah I love booty biscuits.
Mother: Well thanks to the Pillsbury Baking Process they'll slide right out.
Mother: Do not be afraid, young child. For I was just using the Pillsbury Baking Process to craft some rolls for our family dinner on this fine evening. Would you like one?
Son: Oh hell yeah I love booty biscuits.
Mother: Well thanks to the Pillsbury Baking Process they'll slide right out.
by Not Jung God October 2, 2018
Get the Pillsbury Baking Process mug.A Super Quantum Unit Intel Processer or SQUIP for short is a gray oblong pill containing a micro super computer from japan, that when eatten, it travels through your blood till it implants itself in your brain. Once in your brain, it appears as an avatar, with it being any thing, whether it be Keanu Reeves, Batman, A anime cat girl and more that user decides. It uses algorithms to figure out how to raise yourself in the social latter in life for say, whether it be being popular in school, or making it to broadway.
by LonleyWeeb November 26, 2020
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A term that former liberals co-opted when they discovered that their delusional beliefs didn't fit any recognized definition of the word liberal.
These fools are frequently self-loathing, unsuccessful losers who can only feel better by projecting their failures onto their opponents.
A "Progressive" is identified by the following behaviors/beliefs:
- Knows what is best for everybody else
- Claims to be well-informed even though they get their news/talking points from the Daily KOS and/or MSNBC
- Believes that personal wealth is evil yrt they fawn over wealthy celebrities and limousine liberals
- Believes corporations and profit are evil, and will tweet about this 24/7 on their fancy iPad
- Thinks name-calling and demonizing opponents is the same as debate
- Accuses every person with a dissenting view of being a racist
- Supported Occupy Wall Street from the comfort of their living room, not the rape tent
- Drives a Prius with a COEXIST bumper sticker
- Believes in the rights of everyone, except those who disagree
- Thinks the Constitution is flawed because they can't control all 3 branches of government
- Believes YOUR success could only have come at THEIR expense
- Believes Al Gore is right about global warming, even though his carbon footprint 100X of the average person
- Thinks voter identification is racist, because it discriminates against dead people
These fools are frequently self-loathing, unsuccessful losers who can only feel better by projecting their failures onto their opponents.
A "Progressive" is identified by the following behaviors/beliefs:
- Knows what is best for everybody else
- Claims to be well-informed even though they get their news/talking points from the Daily KOS and/or MSNBC
- Believes that personal wealth is evil yrt they fawn over wealthy celebrities and limousine liberals
- Believes corporations and profit are evil, and will tweet about this 24/7 on their fancy iPad
- Thinks name-calling and demonizing opponents is the same as debate
- Accuses every person with a dissenting view of being a racist
- Supported Occupy Wall Street from the comfort of their living room, not the rape tent
- Drives a Prius with a COEXIST bumper sticker
- Believes in the rights of everyone, except those who disagree
- Thinks the Constitution is flawed because they can't control all 3 branches of government
- Believes YOUR success could only have come at THEIR expense
- Believes Al Gore is right about global warming, even though his carbon footprint 100X of the average person
- Thinks voter identification is racist, because it discriminates against dead people
Conservative: I believe in personal responsibility and smaller government
Progressive: You racist hate-monger
Conservative: You said you believed in equal rights for everybody
Progressive: Racist! You should die!
Progressive: You racist hate-monger
Conservative: You said you believed in equal rights for everybody
Progressive: Racist! You should die!
by Fast Eddie, AKA The KOS November 4, 2013
Get the Progressive mug.Social Progressivism is the view that as time progress so should societal morality (from Wikipedia). Social progressives advocate for morality to be based on advancements in Science and philosophy, rather than religious dogma.
Social Progressivism is opposed to Social conservativism. While Social Conservativies advocated to keep slavery, Social progressives opposed it. Social progressives also campaigned for the right to vote for women. Today they advocate equal marriage and a women's right to choose.
by Secular leftist October 2, 2005
Get the Social Progressivism mug.To accomplish a goal slowly in short periods of work, while simultaneosly bullshitting around and taking smoke breaks
Guy:"Hey, I thought you were cleaning?"
Person:"I'll get back to it in a bit, I'm getting it done by way of progresstination"
progresstination progress procrastination slacking smoking
Person:"I'll get back to it in a bit, I'm getting it done by way of progresstination"
progresstination progress procrastination slacking smoking
by KonekoJiemi August 14, 2013
Get the Progresstination mug.by 0NowILayTheeDown0 November 16, 2010
Get the Vegatarian progressive grindcore mug.A hoe that processes two cocks at the same time. One in the front and one in the back. These hoes can process up to 1.5 Ghz (jizz-a-hurtz) Dual core processors are the successor of the single core. And are considered a lot "faster."
Nikki: Hey playaz bring those hard drives over here and let this duel score processor take over!
Sal and Rob: I guess this calls for some sexternal hard drives! *high fives*
Sal and Rob: I guess this calls for some sexternal hard drives! *high fives*
by Da Quizzler October 13, 2011
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