Jerking-Off Pumped

When something is so exciting, so completely enthralling that you are nearly dying of the anticipation. In fact, the excitement is so great that it is equivalent to the feeling of jerking off. As such, you are completely pumped by the idea of doing something on par with masturbating.

Bill-"Wait, we're killing a 30 case right after the concert featuring our favorite band of all time!?"

Frank-"Hell yeah man get excited!"

Bill-"That's gonna be the best day ever! I'm Jerking-Off Pumped about the whole situation!"

Frank-"You read my mind!"

by mythicaldancer April 7, 2011

Jerk off

To masturbate the penis

My parents nearly caught me jerk off last night! Hid the picture and dik

by AngelDustsFuckBuddy April 25, 2025

Jerk off

Something men and even women (mainly middle/high schoolers and even young adults) do when they’re sad, lonely, horny af, or just want to feed the geese.

Goodnight bro, see you tomorrow, boutta go jerk off.

by Stickytipbro March 15, 2023

e-jerk off

What Xessive and dizzy do in xessive's meetings

dizzy:that was the dumbest meeting....(after being "e-jerk off"

by vand3l October 11, 2008

Nvm I jerked off

A phrase used by a person who is down bad and then regret a certain action committed.
It is commonly associated with post-nut clarity

- What's her OF?
10 minutes later
- Nvm I jerked off

- You're so beautiful
- Marry me?
- Nvm I jerked off, you mean nothing to me

by WillieDog February 17, 2025

A Jerk-Off Jehova Witness

noun: person: A Jerk-off Jehova Witness is somebody who only texts or calls you when he's jerking off, and doesn't ever want to actually meet. He is annoying and comes a-knocking at the times that are convenient only to them.

Mike only ever calls me when he's jerking off. I offer to make plans so we can both get off, but something always comes up. He's such a jerk-off jehova. aka. a Jerk-Off Jehova Witness

by R. Tizz-E April 9, 2024

Jerking off onto Lucky Charms

Being at your rock bottom living in your office closet, jerking off with a limp dick and the cum lands in a pile of cereal dust that you had dropped two days ago.

Hey! Have you seen Bob lately?
I heard that he fell off the wagon in is now jerking off onto Lucky Charms.

by Oreosgirlfriend November 8, 2020