Variations include: Humphrey Hambone, Humphrey, Hambone, clumsy dog, that dog puppet, glue i need glue
1) An excessively clumsy person. A bad luck magnet. Often, but not always, a person who does not follow simple common advice then ends up getting hurt, breaking something, and usually both.
2) A friend or acquaintance that seems to always need help or money. A loser that for some reason you keep helping out.
3) Someone who keep borrowing your things, does not return them, and when you finally get the item back it has been ruined.
4) A leech. Someone who cannot or does not want to take care of themselves so they keep screwing up. Often a grown up child that needs mom to pay their debts, or a girlfriend that "can't seem to balance a checkbook". A selfish martyr.
Origins: Humphrey Hambone was a dog puppet created by news anchor Pat McCormick for his one-minute public service announcements on KGO-TV and KTVU-TV. Most of them consisted of Humphrey doing something stupid and Charley Horse (his friend, another puppet) turning to the camera and making a pithy statement about what Humphrey did that was foolish.
Humphrey is best remembered as the clumsy dog that yells out "Glue, I need glue!" after breaking an antique lamp that he did not have permission to use (Charlie famously yells out "You're going to need lots of glue.").
1) An excessively clumsy person. A bad luck magnet. Often, but not always, a person who does not follow simple common advice then ends up getting hurt, breaking something, and usually both.
2) A friend or acquaintance that seems to always need help or money. A loser that for some reason you keep helping out.
3) Someone who keep borrowing your things, does not return them, and when you finally get the item back it has been ruined.
4) A leech. Someone who cannot or does not want to take care of themselves so they keep screwing up. Often a grown up child that needs mom to pay their debts, or a girlfriend that "can't seem to balance a checkbook". A selfish martyr.
Origins: Humphrey Hambone was a dog puppet created by news anchor Pat McCormick for his one-minute public service announcements on KGO-TV and KTVU-TV. Most of them consisted of Humphrey doing something stupid and Charley Horse (his friend, another puppet) turning to the camera and making a pithy statement about what Humphrey did that was foolish.
Humphrey is best remembered as the clumsy dog that yells out "Glue, I need glue!" after breaking an antique lamp that he did not have permission to use (Charlie famously yells out "You're going to need lots of glue.").
"Humphrey: I said I borrowed it without asking. Worry wart.
*big sneeze* *big crash*
Glue, I need glue!"
"Stoner 1: I can't get this Tupperware open. I need something to pry it open with. *picks up a glass pipe*
Stoner 2: Give me that! I am not going to let you Humphrey my $50 glass pipe on a $2 bowl of Cheetos. *hands him a knife*"
"Chump: It's 2 in the morning, and I have to work tomorrow. Why are you calling me?!
Stoner 2: Can you drive us to the Hospital? Humphrey Hambone here just accidently stabbed himself with a kitchen knife.
Chump: Why can't you drive him?
Stoner 2: I can't drive right now. I was trying to use crazy glue to close the wound, but I ended up gluing my hands together.
Chump: Clumsy dog. Alright, but this is the last time I bale you guys out."
"Chump: Shit, why are the cops pulling me over? I just mailed out my registration.
Stoner 2: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I ran over the mailbox and none of the mail went out.
Stoner 1: Should I ditch the bloody knife?
Chump: You, Hambone! Why the hell did you bring that with you?
Stoner 2: So we could explain to the doctor why we didn't use this glass pipe.
Police loudspeaker: PULL OVER YOUR VEHICLE NOW!
Chump: Oh, shit! You guys seem to have to Myass touch.
Stoner 2: Not anymore. I remembered to wash my hands before trying to glue his wound closed."
*big sneeze* *big crash*
Glue, I need glue!"
"Stoner 1: I can't get this Tupperware open. I need something to pry it open with. *picks up a glass pipe*
Stoner 2: Give me that! I am not going to let you Humphrey my $50 glass pipe on a $2 bowl of Cheetos. *hands him a knife*"
"Chump: It's 2 in the morning, and I have to work tomorrow. Why are you calling me?!
Stoner 2: Can you drive us to the Hospital? Humphrey Hambone here just accidently stabbed himself with a kitchen knife.
Chump: Why can't you drive him?
Stoner 2: I can't drive right now. I was trying to use crazy glue to close the wound, but I ended up gluing my hands together.
Chump: Clumsy dog. Alright, but this is the last time I bale you guys out."
"Chump: Shit, why are the cops pulling me over? I just mailed out my registration.
Stoner 2: Oh, I forgot to tell you, I ran over the mailbox and none of the mail went out.
Stoner 1: Should I ditch the bloody knife?
Chump: You, Hambone! Why the hell did you bring that with you?
Stoner 2: So we could explain to the doctor why we didn't use this glass pipe.
Police loudspeaker: PULL OVER YOUR VEHICLE NOW!
Chump: Oh, shit! You guys seem to have to Myass touch.
Stoner 2: Not anymore. I remembered to wash my hands before trying to glue his wound closed."
by The Neutral Christ June 11, 2010
Get the Humphrey Hambone mug.by CanappyWrestler May 5, 2010
Get the Hanson mug.Related Words
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Pulling a Hammond, whereby someone of a much older age has a "physical" relationship with someone of a much younger age. Generally a teacher to student association.
Mike: That guy is like 40 years old
Patrick: Yea, he pulled a Hammond with that girl T Mac in our grade.
Mike: OH GROSS!
John: I know right
Patrick: Yea, he pulled a Hammond with that girl T Mac in our grade.
Mike: OH GROSS!
John: I know right
by TigerballZpants December 19, 2008
Get the Hammond mug.slang for ecstacy, not advised for use if ex-formula one champ Damon Hill has resorted to dealing drugs.
"Have you got any Hamon's?"
"What?"
"What?"
by ROYCE SLAVEN May 5, 2003
Get the HAMON DILL mug.The act of having sex with a girl while sitting on the toilet, taking a crap. The girl must be straddling the guy, facing him.
Dude, I was taking a crap the other day and my girl started going down on me.
She did that while you were sitting on the toilet?
Yeah man. We got to carried away and just did it right there. I hit her with the hamboner.
She did that while you were sitting on the toilet?
Yeah man. We got to carried away and just did it right there. I hit her with the hamboner.
by SoCalNigs June 8, 2010
Get the hamboner mug.The act of beating off after catching a predator on national tv, then returning home to satisfy yourself while watching the playback.
I practice hansonbation every Wednesday night after tuning in to see sexual predators caught on television.
by shirleys January 9, 2007
Get the hansonbation mug.Even harder than Harder as a motherfucker. This is the "Realer than Realdeal Holyfield" of HAM--- HamBONIUS. (pronounced Ham-BONE-EE-US) with a stress on the BONE.
Used as an adjective.
Used as an adjective.
My brother: "I Scored a 750 on my GMAT. I went HAM on it."
ME: "Bro... that is dope. Nah, you went straight Hambonious on that bitch"
ME: "Bro... that is dope. Nah, you went straight Hambonious on that bitch"
by The Great No-do September 14, 2017
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