A soul-crushing, dignity-vaporizing descent into hentai-fueled oblivion, where every shred of self-respect, ambition, and human potential is violently sacrificed at the altar of endless, wrist-snapping depravity. A gooner, once a functioning person, devolves into a dopamine-addicted troglodyte, eyes sunken, skin pale, body frail—marinating in the warm glow of their screen as they edge closer and closer to complete neurological collapse. Conversations? Forgotten. Dreams? Replaced with AI-generated waifus who wouldn't acknowledge their existence even if coded to. Relationships? Nonexistent—unless you count the parasocial bonds they've formed with fictional characters and cam models who milk them like brain-dead cattle. The peak of their life is a pixelated orgasm, followed by an existential horror so deep it could make Lovecraft weep. Goonerism isn’t just a habit—it’s a one-way ticket to being a functionally extinct human being.
"Once a promising young man with dreams and ambition, Jake succumbed to full-blown goonerism, wasting away in the dim glow of his monitor, his only accomplishments being a collection of cursed bookmarks, a wrist that could arm-wrestle God, and a level of self-loathing so deep it could be measured in fathoms."
by N0rs3GOd March 14, 2025
Get the Goonerismmug. A male who watches porn all day long while masturbating
People who might be gooners: EquinoX, JVZ, ! Hyperscale_, Swagkisser, Mrow, cnnr, Raian, Wintrius, bowsers sourpuss bread enjoyer (DEFINETLY A GOONER), Tasque, What was he cooking?, And 200 Others
People who are not gooners: everyone other than Raian
People who might be gooners: EquinoX, JVZ, ! Hyperscale_, Swagkisser, Mrow, cnnr, Raian, Wintrius, bowsers sourpuss bread enjoyer (DEFINETLY A GOONER), Tasque, What was he cooking?, And 200 Others
People who are not gooners: everyone other than Raian
by 69dieddiedofligma May 7, 2024
Get the Goonermug. a person who goons all the time. by all the time I mean all the time. I mean they have a 34 hour gooning streak over the weekend, and they wonder why they are tired all the time. they goon in school, in work (if they manage to get a job) they goon at home most often and they even goon at family gatherings.
dog, i managed to goon for 78 hours a couple days ago
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911
so that's why you weren't at school you certified gooner, and stop looking at my tits loser
But why? I am the epiphony of rizz
i will let you think that
wanna be my sex toy?
*dials 911
by himolton April 25, 2024
Get the certified goonermug. A lower level of zebodky.
by The Zebodky October 6, 2025
Get the goonermug. Person A: Hey, have you seen Person C?
person B: No, the last I've heard from them is when they were being a gooner to that new anime game
person B: No, the last I've heard from them is when they were being a gooner to that new anime game
by ha1l July 27, 2025
Get the Goonermug. by oliver sims October 7, 2022
Get the goonermug.