A "Hot Pocket" occurs when a player discreetly defecates into their hand and deposits the
turd into a teammate’s unattended pocket. The prank relies on stealth, timing, and a worrying lack of shame.
The victim must then declare, at the next training session that they’ve been Hot Pocketed at which point the turd burglar is rewarded with a night of
free , drinks paid by the unfortunate recipient.
The consistency of the
turd is the critical variable.
A "Solid Insert" is the gold standard: firm enough to hold shape, easy to slip in without detection, and leaves minimal collateral damage.
A "Brown
moose Suicide" (also known as a splat drop) is
high-risk,
high-
chaos. It’s loose, unpredictable, and prone to seeping. If pulled off without causing a scene or ruining a pair of jeans, it earns serious respect. But misjudge the texture and you’ll be banned from away trips and cleaning kit for a month.
Gentleman’s code:
No Hot Pocketing on formal occasions (e.
g., weddings, funerals, or black-tie dinners, unless agreed prior).
Under no circumstances should one attempt a double-drop (two pockets, one motion) unless you're a senior club member with diplomatic immunity.
Related Terms:
Brown Glove: When the
turd is delivered directly into a hand and not deposited.
Savage.
Truffle Drop: A variant where it’s placed in a
boot or kitbag instead.
