cock nugget wank head

Howard Cheng

"Boy that person drinks baileys like any cock nugget wank head"

by Barry Norman July 10, 2003

Lame Whining Wanking Poser

Adj. This type of person is not worth describing, but does wastes oxygen and space. Hence, creating the phrase, 'Waste of Space.' Acronym: L.W.W.P. For a boss: it is the ass kissing, dick licking, cum guzzling, ball handling, employee who resides in the boss's ass 24/7. For a self definition: See Philip . For a visual, see PeeWee Herman. For advice, see Tiger Woods. The best Punishment was a public event: See B.C, (Before Christ) Stoned to Death. For Judgement: See GOD!

L: LOSER LONER
W: WUSSY WEEPING
W: WHORE WHIPPED
P: PIMP PUSSY

Lame Whining Wanking Posers are always found hitting on unhappy married people. The unhappy married people who commit adultery with the Lame Whining Wanker Poser become the same low class of Lame Whining Wanker Poser.

by TYPEW November 22, 2010

Split Screen Reality Wank

When you have a wank over someone you know who looks like an actress in a porn film. You split your screen to show the woman you know on one side of the screen (perhaps a Facebook photo) and the porn video with actress who looks like her on the opposite side.

Brian: "You coming down the pub mate?"
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."

by Jimmy Peters August 5, 2016

can't get a wank in edgeways

When you really fancy a wank but you're preoccupied with doing something else.

For example "I can't get a wank in edgeways, I've got loads of work to do"

"I had a busy weekend, I couldn't get a wank in edgeways"

by The sting December 23, 2013

E-Wank/E-Jack Off

The action of touching ones genitalia and jacking off to your own works or your own art, especially in front of everyone digitally.

Boy 1: *jacks off to his typed out role play on a forum*
Girl 1/Boy 1’s Alt: *roleplaying by himself*
Boy 2: I checked your IP address, and that “girl” is you, mate. You’re a total E-Wank/E-Jack Off.

by Collective Reasoning October 14, 2019

wanking gland

Part of the male body around which a large entertainment industry has grown.
Magazines, DVD's, and a worldwide network of computers called the Internet are dedicated to entertaining it.

I'm just going to the shop to buy a wank mag for my wanking gland.

by Blue Cawdrey November 23, 2004

dumb fuck shit ass wank

the act of fucking a woman who is considered dumb i.e blonde then fucking her up the ass then wanking on her shit hole

This act is fucking sick and should not be tried at home as it will result in the police being called.
Please delete if you want, but it's gotta be said, right?
DON'T CENSOR ME!!

by Corpse July 25, 2004