A totally real medical condition. This condition is found primarily in small children and the elderly.
When one spontaneously combusts, their overall body heat has to exceed 2341 degrees Fahrenheit.
Generally, it is very noticeable when someone combusts. Their hair is immediately singed off, leaving them with a brand new shiny bald head (good riddance, that umbrella cut was UGLY!), and they essentially, burst open. Their organs and guts splat all across the ground, but most of the time their insides were already turned to ash, so you don't have to see their disgusting insides.
It has also been totally medically proven that when one has a large ego, specifically 13-14 year old boys, they are more prone to combustion. In fact, their spontaneous combustion rate is 95% more than small children and the elderly.
Signs of combustion- Dizziness, nausea, inflated ego (for some), excessive masturbation, consumption of oil or white-out, and trying to become a spice king on TikTik, because we know that ain't gonna end well.
And remember--when you see a child about to combust, take it across the room until it is behind some sort of barrier. When an elderly person is about to combust, just run. And finally, when you see a teenage male about to combust, scream and run because you know that this is gonna be intense.
When one spontaneously combusts, their overall body heat has to exceed 2341 degrees Fahrenheit.
Generally, it is very noticeable when someone combusts. Their hair is immediately singed off, leaving them with a brand new shiny bald head (good riddance, that umbrella cut was UGLY!), and they essentially, burst open. Their organs and guts splat all across the ground, but most of the time their insides were already turned to ash, so you don't have to see their disgusting insides.
It has also been totally medically proven that when one has a large ego, specifically 13-14 year old boys, they are more prone to combustion. In fact, their spontaneous combustion rate is 95% more than small children and the elderly.
Signs of combustion- Dizziness, nausea, inflated ego (for some), excessive masturbation, consumption of oil or white-out, and trying to become a spice king on TikTik, because we know that ain't gonna end well.
And remember--when you see a child about to combust, take it across the room until it is behind some sort of barrier. When an elderly person is about to combust, just run. And finally, when you see a teenage male about to combust, scream and run because you know that this is gonna be intense.
"Hey, bro! Did you see Landen Spontaneously Combust in the gym! It was crazy!"
"Yeah, isn't Spontaneous Combustion a real medical condition?"
"Yeah. I don't miss him, though."
"Yeah, isn't Spontaneous Combustion a real medical condition?"
"Yeah. I don't miss him, though."
by Xeni_isbetter November 30, 2023
Get the Spontaneous Combustion mug.When a bully or prankster gives you a wedgie while you're sitting on the toilet, mid-poop. It’s the ultimate ambush: you're at your most vulnerable, pants down, minding your business—and boom, someone yanks your underwear sky-high like they're launching a satellite. Maximum disrespect. Maximum trauma.
Example:
"Bro, the wedgie I got while pooping was so intense, I think it scarred my hippo campus. Every time I see a toilet now, my brain short-circuits."
"Bro, the wedgie I got while pooping was so intense, I think it scarred my hippo campus. Every time I see a toilet now, my brain short-circuits."
by cicadacalcine July 8, 2025
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by NewOWrdle August 26, 2025
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Get the Fastest Campus Leaver mug.The Ten Commuffments
And the Muff spoke all these words, saying: "I am Muff!"
ONE: You shall have no other Muffs before Me.
TWO: You shall not make yourself a carved Muff--any likeness of anything that is in Muff heaven above, or that is in the Muff beneath, or that is in the Muff under the Earth.
THREE: You shall not take the name of the Muff in Vain.
FOUR: Remember the Muff day, to keep it Muffy.
FIVE: Honor your Muff's.
SIX: You shall not murder Muff.
SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery on Muff.
EIGHT: You shall not steal Muff.
NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your Muff.
TEN: You shall not covet your Muff's house; you shall not covet your Muff, nor the Muff's partner, nor the Muff servant, nor his Muffiest of Muffs, nor his Muffets, nor his Muffins, nor his Muffings, nor his Muffed Muff, nor his Muff Muffs, nor his Muffism ways, nor his Muff Monster, nor his Muff cheese, nor his Muffdoctor, nor his Muffdiver, nor anything that is your Muff's.
And the Muff spoke all these words, saying: "I am Muff!"
ONE: You shall have no other Muffs before Me.
TWO: You shall not make yourself a carved Muff--any likeness of anything that is in Muff heaven above, or that is in the Muff beneath, or that is in the Muff under the Earth.
THREE: You shall not take the name of the Muff in Vain.
FOUR: Remember the Muff day, to keep it Muffy.
FIVE: Honor your Muff's.
SIX: You shall not murder Muff.
SEVEN: You shall not commit adultery on Muff.
EIGHT: You shall not steal Muff.
NINE: You shall not bear false witness against your Muff.
TEN: You shall not covet your Muff's house; you shall not covet your Muff, nor the Muff's partner, nor the Muff servant, nor his Muffiest of Muffs, nor his Muffets, nor his Muffins, nor his Muffings, nor his Muffed Muff, nor his Muff Muffs, nor his Muffism ways, nor his Muff Monster, nor his Muff cheese, nor his Muffdoctor, nor his Muffdiver, nor anything that is your Muff's.
Muff: Live life by the code of Muffism.
Joe Jerk Off: How do I do that?
Muff: Start by reading The Ten Commuffments...
Joe Jerk Off: How do I do that?
Muff: Start by reading The Ten Commuffments...
by Muffism June 2, 2010
Get the The Ten Commuffments mug.When someone is at a low point in their life and they use that energy to create a movement that is bigger than life. Someone who turns a negative experience into bettering themselves.
by MAMÍ March 22, 2016
Get the The Mami Comeup mug.A college or workplace where the management falsely lures prospective students/employees by using deceptive wording on their property-rules signs.
Disgruntled newbie college student: Dag-blast this university and their "tobacco-free campus" signs --- here I'd thought they'd be giving away cigarettes to anyone who signed up for classes!
by QuacksO May 24, 2016
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