[claused]

falling off a bicycle at high speed and losing the vast majority of your teeth in the incident, thus making you the object of ridicule, and possibly desire amongst fellow toothless citizens. Applies specifically to the Dutch.

"Awww man, Bill fell off his bike and lost all his teeth after getting smacked by a car!"

"Shit, he got claused real bad!"

by Snazzzzz October 6, 2008

Divinity Clause

A statement that cannot be proven right or wrong.

I used the divinity clause when asked whether or not I used ai on my essay.

by Divine729 May 7, 2025

santa clause

a fake piece of shit. who deserves to burn in hell. OH WAIT, HES FUCKING FAKE. just like my dad, because he left when i was 3.. santa clause id a fucking fake white ass nigger who should have never been invented. because sorry to break the news kids, but your parents buy your toys for you.

“look at that fake ass motherfucking picture of santa clause”

by ilovettippieredd March 16, 2020

the cooper temple clause

the best band to ever grace this earth.
didz hammond , ben gautrey , kieran mahon , tom bellamy , dan fisher . jon harper

i think they are really cool and should reunite.

they never made a bad song , thats so iconic of them

person 1: "hey what are you listening to? that might be the best song i've ever heard in my life"
person 2: "oh i'm listening to the cooper temple clause, they're so great"

by the cooper temple clause fan January 31, 2021

Bodily harm clause

You'll end up killing your own son.

Hym "You really gotta read those. Maiming, castrating, lobotmizing, causing brain damage, poisoning (upto and including STDs), dismembering, killing constitutes a violation of the bodily harm clause. Leveraging my life OR the lives of my families to get me to use it in accordance with your will violates the leverage clause. It's almost like you read the terms of service and now you're suggesting it on purpose! Or I'm just a really good guesser. But yeah. That's why it's there. I thought of everything and anything I DIDN'T think of is cover by the 'imaginary caveat clause.' There is no out for you. Legal or otherwise. You need to stop puffing these idiots up. This is all just kabuki for you. Either hurry up and kill us all or hurry up and treat my ailment already. Damn."

by Hym Iam May 5, 2025

Lawson's clause

Lawson's clause is a modern adaptation to the traditionally established rule of dating (see "Half your age plus seven") regarding the socially acceptable age difference between couples in a relationship. Lawson's clause stipulates that, when there is an exorbitant amount of money or net worth involved with one of the parties, then the resulting age determined by the established formula is then modified. The resulting acceptable age will be multiplied by zero, and 18 will then added.
For example: a 48 year-old man can date a 31 year-old woman without social scrutiny (48/2=24+7=31). However, if the man is stinking rich, we then divide answer by zero, and add 18 (31x0=0+18=18). Thus, a very wealthy 48 year-old man can date an 18 year-old woman without scrutiny. This works both ways as well, male or female (see Demi Moore).

Q: Bill Belichick is dating a 24 year old? He's like 72... isn't that inappropriate?
A: But he's so stinking rich! Lawson's clause grants him an exemption.

by Muslim Goat February 21, 2025

The Coyote Clause

The Coyote Clause is a "plea" or statement made during a conversation indicating you feel like a Coyote caught in a trap and, if necessary, you would be willing to bite your own leg off to get away from the person who is talking to you. The Coyote Clause should never be explained to the other person, but one can imply it something to be taken seriously. Often used to end conversations in which the other person will not stop talking about themselves.

I was talking on the phone to someone I met on a dating app; they wouldn't stop talking about death metal, so I invoked The Coyote Clause."

by Deangirl34 August 2, 2025