Poptart

A simpleminded woman who lacks common sense. Based on the "Poptart" pastry which is extremely plain and basic.

Philippe: "It's a small company and I work in different departments. I wear many hats."

Sara: "They let you wear hats in the office!?"

Philippe: "No they don't, Poptart."

by Cisco1424 December 17, 2013

Swedish Poptart

n: The act of a man inserting only his testicles into a woman's vagina; The act of intercourse using only a man's testes and the birth canal.

Sam: "Yo dude, how was Sally last night?"
Matt: "I was too good to her."
Sam: "Why?"
Matt: "I gave her a Swedish Poptart."

by buttchuggsonbuttchuggs December 6, 2013

minnesota poptart

It has rarely been successfully completed due to requiring immense flexibility and stamina, but is the best position for sex while driving.

Variants include frosted and unfrosted. Most favored variant is the Frosted cherry poptart.

Last week, I heard someone died attempting the Minnesota Poptart.

by Master (Beta 1.3) November 12, 2014

Poptart John

A Poptart John is the type of person who pretends to be useful when heated or in lieu of the presence of doughnuts or visa vie bad guys, but in actual reality is useless to all and sundry and only typically aggravates others in the near vicinity

God isn't John a poptart going round trying to save lives by asking them inane questions and proceeding to *fight* them outside country pubs. Some call such a. technique *popping out* or generally, *popped*

Yep but I blocked him by punching him in the guts and telling him *who's your daddy now*

Oh? What a grand casino technique. Il employ you to protect me from Poptart type Johns in future

Police receiving call:

Officer 1
Oh, seems *Poptart Johns* been drinking again

Officer 2
That's ok there's only about thirty of them on any given night in one medium country town to lock away anyway

*Please keep in mind that the previous sentence was spoken with grave sarcasm and chagrin*

by NunceBolger February 26, 2022

poptart

𝙣𝙞𝙜𝙜𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙘𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙙 𝙥𝙤𝙥𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙜𝙪𝙞𝙡𝙩𝙮 𝙤𝙛 𝙛𝙖𝙜𝙜𝙤𝙩𝙧𝙮/𝙨𝙪𝙨 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙫𝙞𝙩𝙮

𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙮𝙤 𝙥𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙛𝙪𝙠𝙞𝙣 poptart

by 23𝙨𝙝𝙝𝙖𝙮𝙮𝙙𝙖𝙝𝙝13 July 14, 2022

Poptart

When your girl is extra hot and needy so you flip her over and fill her with cream until she is ooeygoey and overly toasted.

Damn, that girl can take it all, she’s my messy lil poptart

by ToastyMcStuffins July 5, 2022

Poptart

Someone who is sweet and nice on the outside and slimy and dirty on the inside.

She is such a poptart.
I don't know why Jessica was acting like a poptart to me Saturday night

by Urbanduchess April 20, 2016