lap daddy

A DILF dad who’s lap you would like to sit on. MAINLY FOR SEXUAL REASONS. For example, think of Bella’s dad from Twilight. There’s a scene where his girlfriend is sitting on his lap and he’s a total lap daddy.

Used in a sentence: “Give me that lap you lap daddy.” Also: “is this lap daddy’s lap taken?”

by Organic potting mix January 15, 2022

lap kitty

A person who enjoys bouncing on one’s lap

Person 1: I didn’t know you were a lap kitty
Person 2: I love bouncing on laps…

by Inteller4tdy March 3, 2022

Lap puppy

A female or male person who likes to give oral pleasure at a moments notice ,and begs to be dominated to the pleasure of their dominant partner..

Male or female lap puppies like to feel the need and want of their perspective dominant..

They have a primal craving of affection through the giving of oral pleasure to their partner..

My girl Alice is a great lap puppy she doesn’t beg for food or anything..

Going to my girls she needs her lap puppy..

by Highducky May 6, 2022

Lap Cunt

You know, like a lap dog, but a pesky, people pleasing, pretensious person. Usually a sexually degenerate female (side piece) that just KEEPS. COMING. BACK. No matter how hard you hit them with a rolled up newspaper.

You need to wake the fuck up and treat me with the respect i deserve, I am NOT one of your fucking lap cunts.

by Daskoon August 27, 2022

lap smear

The annual health test that every laptop should get, sometimes leading to a repair job.

My laptop is kinda choked up right now, better take it in for its annual lap smear.

by BillyBuggy April 3, 2009

Lap Candy

Very similar to arm candy, but the lady sits on the man's lap. The lady can be going out with the man, or she just decided to sit there, making the guy look cooler.

Wow was Cassidy Jack's lap candy last night?

Yeup Jack looked pretty cool with Cassidy on his lap.

by MGunner December 11, 2011

lap house

You know one of those houses you walk into, and it's so freakin' filthy, that you REALLY don't wanna sit down, but you make yourself do it just to be nice. Therefore you keep your hands on your lap at all times, because the fact that your butt has to touch this couch is more than enough. Cuz this is the place the where you just might happen to look over and see a rat whispering sweet nothings into your ear, or look down and see a roach polishing your shoes with three little roach hands out asking you for change.
And you just KNOW all 13 of those cats are secretly plotting to kill U ....slowly.

You've been in that house before.... you don't need an example.

OKAAAAAYYYY...

Maaan, me and that preacher were trapped up in that dude's lap house for an hour and a half talkin' 'bout Jesus, and the whole time I was like "Jesus don't wanna come in here! ....I think I inhaled some dog hair."

Man I gotta get up and get on these chores. My crib's startin' to look like a real lap house.

(note* term can also be applied to a fitting mode of transportation, i.e. "Lap car" or "Lap truck". However, "lap snowmobile" or "lap motorcycle" does not apply, due to the non-enclosed nature of these vehicular transports. Besides, who wants to ride a snowmoblie or a motorcycle with their hands in ther lap? Why, that's just downright foolhardy and dangerous.)

(alt. term: "Crap House". House so dirtry you turtle-head'n like a prarie dog cuz you REALLY don't wanna take a crap there! ....plus it looks like utter crap.)

by Manny Styles! June 29, 2011