Self Defense

popular method of thwarting muggers. Patented by self defense instructor Brett Kaywood and has proved to be effective in the only laboaratory that matters: The streets. When confronted by a mugger, the method consists of 2 simple steps:

1) Gain wrist control

2) Pull out your gun

This technique can be used in many situations such as:

- You're walking home from work when a mugger confronts you in a back alleyway because he wants crack.

- Your best friend mugs you at his barbacue because he wants your money to buy crack.

- Your mugger is sleeping in their own bed (remember to climb in through the window) and is mugging you for crack.

- Your mugger is bound by the wrists in the trunk of your car and he is mugging you because he needs crack.

Person 1: I heard it was your grandma's 100th birthday today. How did that go?

Person 2: She tried mugging me to buy crack so I used what I learned from Self Defense and pulled out my gun.

by eclipseballer603 December 9, 2008

Facebook Defense

After a friend takes embarassing photos of you (likely involving alcohol-induced activities), staying logged into facebook awaiting aforementioned "friend" to tag said photos of you, allowing you to quickly de-tag them before the rest of the world finds out.

I spent all day sunday playing facebook defense against the photo documentation of last night's debauchery.

by Bignatius December 20, 2008

defenestrate

Throwing someone or something out of a window.

Rock stars have tendencies of defenestrating TV-sets.

by Anonymous August 6, 2003

apple jack defense

The apple jack defense is responding to a question with "it just is".

"You know how in the Apple Jack commercials when asked how the cereal is good even though it doesn't taste like apples the response is "it just is". That's the main precept behind the Apple Jack defense, which MIKE constantly employs."

by zee July 9, 2006

weenie defense club

a secret club of men where men defend fellow men from threats to mankind, mainly women.

man 1- "bills wife took half of bills hard earned money after the divorce"
man 2- "he needed a better lawyer"
man 1- "he needed the weenie defense club"

by WeenieDefenseClubCharterMember December 1, 2009

Screaming Austrian Defense

While playing beer pong, you scream like Arnold to make your opponent miss.

*opponent lines up for a shot* you pull out your Screaming Austrian Defense "Your anus has brought shame to your father!" *opponent misses*

by Tainted Faith September 1, 2009

el matador defense

A lackluster, low-effort form of defense in which the defender simply reaches for the ball and then quickly pulls his hand away -- similar to how a matador pulls his cape out of the way of a charging bull -- as the offensive player drives by him for an easy shot at the hoop.

Kobe keeps running on the paint! I wish Lebron James stop playing el matador defense on Kobe.

by El-Matador December 25, 2010