Hoboken Squat Cobbler

Someone who takes videos of himself squatting naked on a pie, preferably of the cream type variety, and masturbating much to the delight of his intended viewer.

He's in the other room making a video with a pie. He's a Hoboken Squat Cobbler.

by Yankwood August 29, 2016

squat cobbler

The act of sitting in pie while fully clothed in order to satisfy another's sexual desire.

Jimmy McGill told those sneakin pigs all about that squat cobbler Pryce.

by sabresfan30 September 3, 2016

Cobblers law

A person in a profession is not likely to practice the profession well in there day to day life.

"The Cobblers kids have no shoes."
Everyone knows you don't buy a car from a mechanic because of cobblers law.

by China--man November 12, 2025

squat cobbler

An act, normally performed on video, intended to titillate the senses. This act is technically a fetish, but (and this is important) it is NOT ILLEGAL! Squat Cobbler involves a fully clothed man, all by himself, who sits in a pie and wiggles around. The more extreme varieties of this lewd act is known as "Cry Baby Squat Cobbler", or "Cry Baby Squat" for short, which involves tears. Usually, the more tears, the more taboo it is considered to be, and to a certain audience, more desirable.

The term originates from the eastern United States where it is commonly called "Hoboken Squat Cobbler" and, like Hellman's Mayonnaise, is called something different west of the Rocky Mountains.

In the midwest it is simply referred to as "pie sitting"

See also full moon moon pie boston crème splat simple simon the ass man dutch apple ass pie sitting Hoboken squat cobbler

Jeff came over and was paid handsomely to perform the Hoboken squat cobbler into a still hot dutch apple pie.

The man does a mean and quite sexy squat cobbler. There are tears, and lots of wriggling! He even wears a batman costume!

by pseudonymnonominon July 29, 2016

Squat cobbler

When a fully clothed person films themselves sitting in pie.

John: How'd you get that stain on your pants?

Michael: I was doing a squat cobbler for my girlfriend.

by Vanbran September 2, 2016

squat cobbler

A man who sits in a pie and wiggles around for sexual arousal.

"I bet that Randy is a Squat Cobbler "

by Whoretism August 29, 2016

tornado cobbler gobbler

When you are on your back lying down and he puts his dingaling in your song hole. He then lifts his arms and legs in the air so his pecker and your jaw strength keep him suspended in the air. He then violently spins until completion.

M1: “She’s getting more adventurous but she still won’t let me tornado cobbler gobbler her ass”
M2: “Idk dude she sounds like she’s not the one…”

by DiRizzle February 24, 2024