Squat Cobbler

Noun. When a pie is desecrated by bare human buttocks. Situation made worse when said human is crying

He has a private video stash of himself doing crying squat cobbler for another man.

by SquigglySquid September 3, 2016

Squat cobbler

Fetish whereas sexual gratification is achieved by sitting on pies and or pastries. Cream pies and meringues are the most commonly used for safety reasons.

Kim:What's your turn on baby?
Sal: I'm a squat cobbler.
Kim: That's hot. Let me get you a French Silk pie.

by Clive Bixby September 3, 2016

cobbler's

See cobblers

by Ian Chode September 22, 2003

squat cobbler

A term coined on the AMC show "Better Call Saul", describing a particular fetish involving one's ass sloshing around in a pie. May also be used as a derogatory term toward an unpleasant person.

1. I know it seems like an unusual fetish, but Matt has a huge collection of videos depicting men performing squat cobblers.

2. You're a fucking squat cobbler.

by bouchole September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A fetish that involves a man who sits in a pie and "wiggles around."

I had a very nice apple pie cooling on the window sill but, instead of Yogi Bear, the creepy neighbor Jerry got it. He's a squat cobbler.

by Wormald August 5, 2016

squat cobbler

When a man sits in pie and wiggles around. Sometimes involves crying and/or a costume.

"My last partner had a squat cobbler fetish, I've had my ass in every pie from apple to zucchini."

by slippinjimmy September 1, 2016

squat cobbler

A man who sits in a pie and wiggles around for sexual arousal.

"I bet that Randy is a Squat Cobbler "

by Whoretism August 29, 2016