because jesus

Used (usually sarcastically) to "explain" why homosexuality/LGBT/abortion/marijuana/brown people/citizens of countries other than the US/what have you is "bad".

Imaginary interviewer to Pat Robertson: "Why are you so opposed to the rapidly expanding normalization of non-traditional sex roles?"
Robertson: "Because Jesus."

by TheThroat October 4, 2017

Jesus Eater

a very derogatory term applied to Catholics, Anglicans, and Orthodox Christians who believe that The Holy Communion becomes the very true body of Christ.

Catholics are Jesus Eaters because they eat their God every week in Church.

by Brother JB May 25, 2012

Black Jesus

Soulja boy's alter ego. Shows acts of kindness to people, people look at him like he is Jesus. Being swagged the fuck out.

Oh look it's black Jesus and he is making it rain on use peasants, so we can eat.

Oh look it's black Jesus he is swagged the fuck out

by Dre'eagagagg December 23, 2010

jesus tits

generic exclamation of shock, disgust, disbelief, or awe (not necessarily originating from subjects related to christianity nor female anatomy); usually followed by a pronoun in practice

"jesus tits, man, how could you have forgotten the bottle opener...again!" or "jesus tits, dude, that thing missed my ear less than an inch!"

by gee-zus TITz April 30, 2003

Jesus Christ

Didn't exist. Point blank period. Prove me wrong, motherfucker. Some stupid motherfucker people used to sell otherwise, useless criss cross gold trinkets.

Fuck Jesus Christ.

by JayJay1000 September 3, 2018

Jesus Junior

A vibrator, Dildo, something used to stimulate female sex organs to the point of orgamasm. got its name from Lauren, who said that "Only jesus could make me feel this good." Is often blue and sparkly.

I experianced divine intervention last nite, yeah, a date with Jesus Junior.

by BLASHAMYURGOINGTOHELL April 26, 2003

Jew For Jesus

An Ethnic Jew who believes in Jesus (Yeshua) as the Jewish Messiah (Mashiach/Moshiach). He or she may or may not be a member of the group Jews for Jesus.

A Jew For Jesus is also called a Messianic Jew or Jewish Christian. Among the most controversial Jews For Jesus was a Jewish man who was a Southern Baptist pastor named Martin Meyer "Moishe" Rosen (1932-2010). The late Moishe Rosen founded the group known as Jews For Jesus. Like individual Jews for Jesus are, the group Jews For Jesus is often a target of every kind of intolerance and persecution imaginable--most often from Anti Semitic and Anti Messianic ("Anti Missionary", "Counter Missionary") individuals and groups; ranging from individuals and groups who are racist against all Jews, anyway (such as David Duke and Stormfront, and Malik Zulu Shabbaz and the Pseudo-Jewish Black Hebrew Israelites), to individuals such as Tracey Rich of JewFAQ and groups such as the Central Conference of American Rabbis of the Union of Reform Judaism, who have issued multiple responsa against Messianic Jews and Messianic Judaism (e.g., "CCAR RESPONSA 'On Patrilineal Descent, Apostasy, and Synagogue Honors', 5758.11").

by Nickidewbear June 14, 2013