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jack-hammered

To be intoxicated to a level where all abilities to make rational decisions become impossible.
Matt was so jack-hammered, he did not realize the girl he slept with was 300 pounds.
by High Profile December 17, 2006
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Jacking Off

My nightly routine involves jacking off, as does my morning routine, and my midday routine.
by Derpherpderpistan February 10, 2013
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Jack Wild

Jack Wild (30 September, 1952 – 2 March, 2006) was a British actor, born in Royton, Lancashire, England, who achieved fame for his roles in both stage and screen productions of the Lionel Bart musical Oliver!. For the latter performance (playing the Artful Dodger), he received an Academy Award nomination for Best Supporting Actor at the age of 16, but the Oscar went to Jack Albertson for his performance in The Subject was Roses.
It was at the premiere of the 1968 film version of Oliver! that he met brothers Sid and Marty Krofft, who thought Wild would make a good lead for a show they were developing called H.R. Pufnstuf. Wild starred in this American family TV series that launched in 1969, and also in the spin-off movie. He also embarked on a recording career, cutting one album for Capitol Records and two for Buddah Records in the early 1970s.
Excessive drinking at an early age derailed Wild's career. Sobering up in 1988, he returned to the big screen in a few minor roles, such as in the 1991 Kevin Costner film Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. He was also reported to be developing a TV situation comedy with Suzi Quatro around the same time, but those plans never materialised in an actual series. For the most part, though, Wild spent the remainder of his career working in theatre.
Wild died in Tebworth, age 53, after a long battle with oral cancer. Diagnosed with the disease in 2000, he underwent surgery in July 2004 and had part of his tongue and both vocal cords removed. Because of this surgery, he had lost his speech1 and had to communicate through his wife.
RIP Jack Wild (30 September, 1952 – 2 March, 2006)
by P. redeckis June 11, 2006
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jack sparrow

the neatest,sexiest,funniest guy on earth
by eva guold October 5, 2003
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Sac Jack

To jerk only your sac when masturbating. Not the normal occassional tug on the sac, but pulling so hard that you nearly rip it off causing severe pain and swelling in the testicles. Usually done in conjunction with the bloody jack.
Your mom is hot, I think I'm going to sac jack to her and then beat the fuck out of her.
by Rev. Reggie Dingleberry August 24, 2004
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Cactus Jack

The real form of this phrase is similar to a masturbatory experience known as "The Stranger" (in which you sit on your hand until it is numb and masturbate so that it feels like someone else is doing it)

The only variance is that when doing a "Cactus Jack" you wait for partial numbness to restore until you feel the "Pins and needles" in your hand. You then masturbate and it feels like you're jacking off a real cactus.

Other Notes: It does not matter much if you reach climax during this as real cacti retain liquid and cannot orgasm.

Should you jack off a real cactus please seek immediate medical help.
John was giving himself a stranger in the closet when suddenly it turned into a god awful Cactus Jack situation when the feeling in his hand came back. Next time John will sit on both of his hands before an attempt.
by Bongsc2 January 21, 2010
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jack off

To stoke the penis up and down in a motion like if you were to shake milk.
Today when I shook my chocolate milk, after 20 minutes it turned white thanks to the jack off motion.
by Anonymous October 28, 2003
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