by P00RSP0RT April 7, 2025
Get the Captain Boomerang mug.Da infamous Scottish pirate-leader who made his fortune by setting fire to conquered ships and then extorting them for huge sums to bribe him to extinguish da flames.
I dunno if those puny wine-bottle-sized fire-extinguishers would be all dat effective on huge clippers or schooners dat were engulfed in flames --- Captain Kidde might have had to switch to da larger "Adultte" brand of extinguisher to properly put out said towering infernos.
by QuacksO0 May 30, 2025
Get the Captain Kidde mug.Related Words
by ImLowkeyJustAChillGuy June 14, 2025
Get the Captain Kuro solos mug.by sir0420 June 14, 2025
Get the Captainmanship mug.Exp; *Random person getting jump*
*they friend come up*
friend: yall not finna jump my dawg.
*one of the person jumping his friend*
Jumper 1: yo ass wanna be captain save a ho so bad.
Jumper 2: exactly
*they friend come up*
friend: yall not finna jump my dawg.
*one of the person jumping his friend*
Jumper 1: yo ass wanna be captain save a ho so bad.
Jumper 2: exactly
by OgBadbitty June 20, 2025
Get the Captain save a ho mug.A half-functioning fishing captain powered by nicotine, meth, and pure coastal paranoia. Captain Crank is the guy screaming about government satellites while freebasing off tin foil in the engine room of a rusted-out commercial boat—or chain-smoking through a guided trip while cussing at seagulls and mumbling about “the deep state tracking red snapper migrations.”
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
Not to be confused with an old salty dog—Captain Crank isn’t wise, he’s wired. You’ll know him by the jerky hand movements, a permanent squint (either from sun damage or sleep deprivation), and the overwhelming scent of bait, diesel, and regret.
Spotting Characteristics:
- Yellowed mustache from years of inhaling tinfoil smoke
- Boat held together by zip ties, duct tape, and spite
- Knows exactly where the fish are… but won’t tell you unless you “wake up to what’s really going on”
- Listens exclusively to ham radio frequencies and Joe Rogan clips from 2016
- Will fight you and the harbor patrol if you touch his bait cooler
Common Habitats:
- Commercial fishing boats with suspicious burn marks near the bilge
- Charter docks where someone just got fired or disappeared
- VFW bars with broken pool tables
- Forums arguing that fish finders are government mind-control devices
“We thought he was just passionate… until Captain Crank started yelling about fluoride in the chum.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
“Captain Crank brought us to the fish, but also brought a .38 and a full-blown manifesto.”
“If you smell burnt foil and hear something about ‘the government stealing our swordfish,’ turn around—that’s a Captain Crank.”
“He didn’t use sonar. He said he ‘felt the vibrations in his fillings.’ I’m never chartering with Captain Crank again.”
by Pary Moppins August 3, 2025
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