Boner Phone

An expression used when one unexpectedly encounters something especially stupid or ridiculous out of their control. The person mimics a ringing noise, pretends to answer a pantomimed phone and says, "it's the boner phone, and it's for you."

after finishing the hunger games series "Ring, ring! It's the boner phone, and it's for you."

by vistalover August 20, 2012

disaster boner

The excitement caused by witnessing something that is actually terrible

I got a total disaster boner from seeing the most fantastic car wreck on the way to work.

Did you see that hospital blown away by that tornado?
Yeah, totally gave me a disaster boner

by yaboytofu November 11, 2015

Jew boner

An uncontrollable erection caused by experiencing a stereotypically Jewish event.

I got such a raging Jew boner when I saw her nose.

Steve's Jew boner wouldn't relent when he found out Nordstrum had marked their entire inventory by 25%.

by PutItUpYourNose June 2, 2015

Proximity Boner

The arrival of a meat sword when in close proximity to others of like-minded interest or infatuation.

All those nerds at Comicon are sporting proximity boners dressed like theyre "to infinity and beyond" instead of getting a job.

by Studly Chucksteak Hungwell November 18, 2015

Boner Break

When your boner is so strong and hard it rips through your undies and pants. Mostly common in extremely strong people like Chuck Norris, and other individuals with rock hard cocks with strength stronger than most men.

"Dude, so that hot teacher Jessica was teaching class today on Sexual Health and I was so hard I had a boner break and everyone saw my rock hard cock"

by GeniusBansel December 29, 2017

pool boner

Any instance of someone developing an erection within a small body of still water, usually when the penis is submerged.

Chris: "Did you have a pool boner when you got out of the pool and went upstairs?"
Male #1 (in response): "Yes."

by Shepherd Monk December 13, 2016

goner boner

Read as goh-ner boh-ner, gah-ner bah-ner or really any way it rhymes, it's an erection on the other side of the penis hardness curve. Usually happens in the worst of moments, and the sometimes sudden limpness can be caused by nervousness, temperature changes, alcohol consumption, vigorous foreplay, age, or the sudden realization of who your partner is.

Medical term is limpus dickus.

He said "Let's do it, waste not a boner", but by the time we got there it was a goner boner.

by Octogenerarian April 22, 2018