Darvin Ham

The most retardedest, stupid, dumbest, fatest, most garbage ass coach to ever grace the beautiful National Basketball Association. He is considered retarded by many. Often times, he is spotted playing "pocket pool" courtside instead of coaching the Los Angeles Lakers. Some people refer to this demon spawn as "darvin hamas." This idiot has done his absolute best to sabotage the end of the greatest person to ever touch an NBA basketball, Lebron James Sr. He started off his Lakers tenure 1-9. In his own NBA career, he averaged 2.7 points per game, now Jeanie Buss calls upon him to coach Lebron. On many occasions, he has overruled Lebron's attempts at challenging plays, most recently on April 27th, 2024, in game 4 against the Denver Nuggets. He is considered to be in an ongoing love affair with Los Angeles Lakers player, Taurean Prince. One of his favorite things to do is run a four guard lineup, which involves playing for players at one time who specialize at PG/SG. He has even done this when down three games to zero in an NBA playoff series.

"What a dumbass decision, he must be pulling a Darvin Ham"

by Professor Nate April 27, 2024

SPAM & HAM

When fingering the vagina of your Asian girlfriend in hopes of pulling out sticky rice for dinner.

I met up with an old girlfriend for a quickie and asked her if I can include a SPAM & HAM before completing appropriate intercourse activities.

by X7MCB January 25, 2025

Grilling Ham

Grilling Ham (noun): A clever tactic to avoid work or ignore a call. Originally based on the idea that someone was “too busy grilling ham” to respond, it now refers to any exaggerated excuse for getting out of something.

Sorry, boss, I can’t join the Zoom call—I’m in the middle of grilling ham.
or

Mike called—he's going to be late, busy grilling ham.

by b-rad.J February 10, 2025

Alabama ham bone

The act of fucking your neighbors fat wife in the ass!

Brian pissed me off so bad, I went over and gave his wife a Alabama ham bone!

Now she won't quit asking for another.

by RoscoePonderosa February 24, 2025

dookie ham

Type of poop that's about the size of a whole baloney, thick, dense, and heavy.

"I laid down a dookie ham so dense you can see the ribs and fat in it."

- What sort of flavor is this fine meat?
- Nah bro that's the dookie ham I slammed down this morning

by layingdookiehamsdaily May 2, 2025

The Ham Man

Champion of Planet Hammonia

The Ham Man: "I am The Ham Man"

by The Ham Man (real) January 10, 2026

The Carnival of Ham

A small carnival in Chelmsford, due to a student's inability in French. He could not think of the necessary word for the Carnival, and thought "Oh well schapps let's call it the Carnival of Ham" (la carnivale de jambon), and the Carnival of Ham was thus born. It takes place yearly.

Damn I can't think what to make a carnival of, oh well schapps The Carnival of Ham.

by Kill Angus October 18, 2006