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captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.
Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".
by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016
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captain bro

A "Captain Bro" is a term used for an Airline Pilot Captain who's super chill in the cockpit and out. He's layed back and enjoys a good craft beer a good time and never gets excited about anything. His co-pilots marvel at his airmenship skills and the amount of "fucks" he doesn't give. He uses the word "fuck or bro" like its a comma. When he's not ripping across the sky at 500mph he's a beach bum at heart. Hes fit, tan and just got back from 3 weeks in Tahiti. Don't leave him alone with your wife or gf because he'll hit on her and blame it on you. When he walks through the airport women want him and men want to be him. The airline industry desperately needs more "Captain Bros" bro!
Last night Captain Bro and I went out for drinks and next thing I knew we were at the titty bar slamming shots and double fisting beers. Today he said he thinks he lost his pinky ring messing around with that strippers C-section scar. I told him don't do it but he's a captain bro he doesn't give a FUCK!
by Skyking007 October 12, 2015
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Captain H-Ball

Any extremely intoxicated boat captain from a mix of cocaine, mushrooms and cheap beer.
Dam Captain H-Ball we almost hit the channel marker doing 60mph in a no wake zone. Arrrr past me the straw and platter and let me arrrrr powder the nose.
by Captain Smoothwater September 2, 2022
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Captain Obvious

A person who states painfully obvious facts or statements very loudly or repetitively.
Dude: Man, I think that guy just blew you off Jessica.
Jessica: Thanks, Captain Obvious
by Xcain February 28, 2020
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Captain Gankaroo

Friend to friend, " My husband's nickname is Captain Gankaroo..."

Other friend, " Do what? (Laughing)"

Friend, " Yeah my husband beats off all the time with/on anything... plastic bags, dirty clothes, you name it, so I call him Captain Gankaroo because he ganks everything"
(I walk in catching my husband beating off using a plastic bag), "Well hello Captain Gankaroo".
by Justice League Kat October 19, 2021
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Captain Hooker

Sucking a penis and a pussy at the same time
Man, Derek was pulling off a Captain Hooker the other day
by BigDickCockSucker69 October 9, 2015
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captain save a hoe

throwing pearls at a swine. someone who tries to change a hoe who cant be changed or wont.
that guys a captain save a hoe, a rich client of a prostitute
by pinhe_ad December 23, 2023
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