fuck me up a tree

when a situation is really bad and you just can't deal with it anymore.

My car was stolen, my cat is sick, and I just set off the fire alarm trying to make a cookie. Fuck me up a tree!

by SusanCole December 1, 2013

Walter's Tree Service

A company that arrives a day late, usually takes money and leaves, and is owned by a cowboy.

I ordered Walter's Tree Service, they came a day late and didn't even cut anything down.

by bleachbeach May 9, 2011

Merry Christmas Tree

A Christmas tree that is more merry than usual

Wow look at the lights on that merry Christmas tree

by Kyle ‘the fatty’ Davis November 26, 2019

palm tree dick

A proverbial slang referring to one who steals another's shade; Taker of comfort. A shady individual out for himself. Feminine- palm tree cunt.

That palm tree dick told everyone that it was his idea.

Give me the remote, don't be such a palm tree dick!

by leprechaunic November 7, 2013

Out of your tree

When someone says something so outrageous and unbelievable, one may say "Are you out of your tree?" which means that the person is out of their mind on such an idea. The phrase originates from the popular Nintendo game, Animal Crossing.

Tanner: So what are you trying to do here?

Reil: I'm going to jump that shark tank on this here bike.

Tanner: Oh no, no, no! Are you out of your tree?! You can't hope to jump something like that on that thing. You may as well start jumping turtles before doing something so unbelievable.

Reil: But I jumped the turtles last week...

by TanorFaux August 26, 2012

nail Jell-O to a tree

to do something difficult or impossible, especially when there is no real point in doing so

To eat a spoon full of cinnamon by itself would amount to nailing Jell-O to a tree. (example of nail Jell-O to a tree)

by The Return of Light Joker August 25, 2011

Ur Family Tree LGBT

The imortal god of “ur” jokes

WARNING DO NOT ISE LIGHTLY

AFFESTS THE INNER MOST SOUL!!! If some one survives they will have major PTSD

Joe: u smell like butt

Jim: no u

Joe: ur mom gay
Jim: ur sister a mister

Joe: UR FAMILY TREE LGBT

*Jim dies of eternal suffering and herpes and other stds, face implodes with the rest of his body

by Imtheurjokegod February 19, 2019