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soccer mom
a sad woman who is trapped on a hamster wheel of endless running and running and running. (insert coffee chugging here) Her life revolves around her children's social schedule and her own existance is defined by it. Although the SUV is the surest indicator of her membership in this exclusive club, the latest identifier would have to be her multi-colored, quilted, flowery, overpriced, overstuffed purse that can double as a seat cushion for the bleachers of the soccer/baseball games. Usual habbitats, huge bargain warehouse stores, fast food lines, character themed pizza joints, and athletic fields. I was raised by one, and i will most likely (sadly) turn into one. The difference will be the censorship/racist/independence issues. Whether one is a Jewish soccer mom or christian or muslim....open mindedness is key. you know in your hearts that a 5 year old doesn't need to hear the word "fuck" all day long, he can do that when he's 15, but he should definately hear good ass music, and that shit should start in the womb. i know you all are young...and angry (mostly due to being cut off in traffic A LOT,) but when you have your own kids....you'll protect them from all of those fucking soccer mom's the same way they protect their kids from you.
day after day the soccer moms open thier eyes to begin another day of the exact copy of yesterday. coffee, turn on the Today show, drive kids to school, run over several small VW golfs, errands, sniff cocaine, pick up kids from school, stop at starbucks, take kids to soccer practice, go through drive thru, tuck kids into bed, masterbate and repeat daily until kids go to college.
soccer mom by prisonerofsurburbia September 10, 2006
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soccer mom
Typically middle-class or upper middle class, white mothers that live in nice houses in the suburbs. Almost always a superficial christian of 30-45 years of age. Often proud, and super-dominant, because their husbands are successful.
Yet also tormented inside, because they know they're worthless and their lives are meaningless.
Has perfect, wonderful children that must be protected from everything that isn't christian, middle class and suburban.
She drives her children and often other kids around in a huge-ass SUV, suburban or minivan. Bad driving skills, and turns into a rude fucking bitch when you complain about their dangerous SHIT driving.
These fucking bitches cannot stand anything that isn't G-rated. That means 99.999% of music, movies, videogames and the internet are OUT. These women are the downfall of society. They pretend to be perfect and have perfect fucking little brat children, but are often cheating on their busy husbands, commiting adultery with other men, seeking whatever they think they don't have, and therefore destroying other families.
Self absorbed CUNT.
Yet also tormented inside, because they know they're worthless and their lives are meaningless.
Has perfect, wonderful children that must be protected from everything that isn't christian, middle class and suburban.
She drives her children and often other kids around in a huge-ass SUV, suburban or minivan. Bad driving skills, and turns into a rude fucking bitch when you complain about their dangerous SHIT driving.
These fucking bitches cannot stand anything that isn't G-rated. That means 99.999% of music, movies, videogames and the internet are OUT. These women are the downfall of society. They pretend to be perfect and have perfect fucking little brat children, but are often cheating on their busy husbands, commiting adultery with other men, seeking whatever they think they don't have, and therefore destroying other families.
Self absorbed CUNT.
The fucking cunt soccer mom I saw driving through at McDonalds, yelling at everyone in front of her to hurry up because her huge-ass FAT FUCK children were hungry.
soccer mom by airraid May 10, 2008
socialite soccer mom
Usually a mother of a child/children who finds time to attend, or chair society or political functions, charity or Parent Teacher Association events, in conjunction with helping to raise her children.
socialite soccer mom by hampton's gal December 3, 2007
Nauck's Mom
The entity of which a man feels successful in a sexual experience and feels as if he just got 'a free one'. Founded by Christopher Nauck, made famous by Coach T. Often the result of a good day, lose of weight, and burning sensation in said trousers. Usually the said word, is followed by the abbreviation FTW (For the Win).
1."I'm kinda horny, maybe I'll go to Michelle's and Nauck's mom her all night long!"
2."So what're you doing for the weekend?"
"Nauck's Mom, FTW!!!"
3. "Dude that girl that just walked by is at least an eight.
"Nahh, brah I'll give that a Nauck's Mom!!
2."So what're you doing for the weekend?"
"Nauck's Mom, FTW!!!"
3. "Dude that girl that just walked by is at least an eight.
"Nahh, brah I'll give that a Nauck's Mom!!
Nauck's Mom by Idk779 January 23, 2009
Soccer Mom
A white middle-to-upper-middle class woman, generally aged 30-55. Has the requisite 2.3 kids. Usually the product of a loveless childhood and an equally loveless marriage as the trophy wife of an up-and-coming executive or professional. Motto is "my kids are my life". Refers to her kids as "my Precious Little Angels" (PLAs) or "God's Gifts to Me" (GGTMs), and believes the entire world exists just for the benefit of her PLAs. Terrified that child molesters are lurking behind every bush, and that gays are determined to "recruit" her PLAs. Obsessed with whatever is the latest "danger to kids" being promoted that week on Oprah or Dr. Phil or the latest Parenting Magazine. The Soccer Mom is constantly badgering school officials and politicians, promoting the latest "nanny law/regulation" to protect the GGTMs. Usually fundie or conserviative Christian with a cult-like obsession, and makes sure her PLAs participate in choir and church soccer camps (hence the term: "Soccer Mom"). Extremely controlling of the social life of the GGTMs, repressing all independent thought, and all signs of non-conformity. The GGTMs teen years are marked by Ritalin and trips to high priced child psychologists. The PLA daughter often grows up to be an XXX rated porn star, while the PLA son becomes a transvestite drummer in a punk rock band.
The Soccer Mom has been the artistic inspiraton for outstanding movies such as "Diary of a Mad Housewife" and "The Betty Broderick Story". Also classic songs such as "Harper Valley PTA".
Soccer Mom by frantic1971 March 25, 2010