Masturbation

One of the greatest joys in life. Discovered (hopefully) when you go through puberty.

Andrew Dice Clay: Masturbation is king. Oh yeah, you know it, I know it so who are we bullshittin'?

by tenaciousd6936 August 20, 2006

Masturbation

The Sole Purpose Of Myspace Pictures

I pulled up Jennies myspace and worked on my masturbation

by calikid January 28, 2007

masturbation

The act of sexualy pleasing oneself, usually to orgasm.

Masturbation is the best exercise I get all day!

by Nick November 10, 2002

masturbation

The use of improvisational means to obtain sexual gratification in the absence of a partner.

Because the word "masturbation" sounds kind of boring, people have come up with an absurd amount of euphemisms for what is essentially sex without a partner.

I tried to look up "masturbation" on UD, but the constant use of euphemisms and the lack of a real definition drove me crazy.

by Anonymous debunker of myths October 16, 2009

Masturbation

The act of pleasuring yourself. Self-sex, its like training for actual sex.Jacking off.

For a man stroking, rubbing, or even slapping the erect penis, for a women, rubbing the vagina with the two front fingers, or even lodging a penis shaped item such as a dildo in it.

There are terms such as;

Buff the Bananna
Spank the Frank
Stroke the one-eyed snake
beat the meat
Hold your sausage hostage
choke the chicken
Rub the Robin
Box the cock
Invade your pants with a five fingered army
Crank the Shank
Crown the King
Fondle the Fig
Jerk the Gerk
Tug the Tiger
Hand to Gland Combat.

As for women;

Vagina Dj
Taco Handshake
Play the Clitar
shuck the oyster
pressing the escape button
Tapping the keg
cleaning your fingers
the two finger tengo
ect

I just love the art of masturbation, it feels amzaing!

by The KockKing May 4, 2011

masturbating

something that everyone has done or will do in the course of their lives, even if they keep denying it in front of their friends.

Scott: Joe, when you get home and watch that porn, and you are done masturbating, don't forget to wipe up the mess

Joe: I'm not gay, I don't do that

Scott: ummmmmmmm, sure you do, everyone does.

by My Name Is Hugh...Mungus July 12, 2009

masturbation

To fuck oneself

me: Why don't you just go and fuck yourself?
boyfriend: *goes off to do some masturbation*

by Guinevere134 June 12, 2009