Monkeytail Beard

A style of beard that resembles a monkey's tail wrapped around the face.

It starts from one ear like a chinstrap, and wraps around the chin and mouth, not connecting on the other side.

Hey, nice monkeytail beard. You look like an idiot.

by tomphiltrontastic November 9, 2011

Crusty Beard

Sexual act where the woman defecates on the man's mouth, smears the faeces around it creating a "beard" (or smears it on an existing beard) then sprinkles 100's and 1000's on it and licks it off.

Last night Helen gave me a crusty beard! Fuckin hell, that was twisted!

by CrazyGoat826 October 22, 2007

Beard of Thunder

A beard that is well rounded and causes happiness when looked at

Wow that man at the county fair is hot

it is because of his beard of thunder !

by Skyyyyy May 24, 2009

Ear Beards

ear beards- excessive hair on the outside of the eards forming miniature beards or 'eards'

Webb needs to trim his ear beards before they get too long

by caison123 January 9, 2012

lazy beard

When someone lets his beard grow because he is too lazy to shave it he grows lazy beard.

Woman: "Why are you growing beard? It doesn't look good at all."
Man: "Yeah I know but it's lazy beard."
Woman: "Oh, then it's okay!"

by llion March 12, 2008

Beard Trustworthiness

Beard Trustworthiness is used to determine how trustworthy a particular beard/mustache is.

~~~Very Trustworthy~~~
Full Beard
The Philosopher
Goatee + Mustache

~~~Mildly Trustworthy~~~
Full Mustache aka The Wilford Brimley
Cop Mustache aka The Burt Reynolds
Chin Strap aka The Abe, The Lincoln

~~~Neutral~~~
Sideburns
Friendly Chops
Chin Tuft + Mustache aka The Colonel Sanders
Mutton Chops

~~~Questionable~~~
Sans Mustache aka Amish Beard
Curly Mustache aka The Handlebar
Goatee

~~~Threatening~~~
The Horseshoe aka The Hogan
Chin Tuft
Unkempt Beard aka The Homeless Beard
Neck Beard

~~~Dangerous~~~
Soul Patch aka The Landing Strip
Patchy Beard aka The Sidney Crosby
Pencil Thin Chin Strap

~~~Disastrous~~~
Werewolf
Pencil Thin Mustache aka The John Waters, The Joe Jackson
The Hitler

L: How do you know you can trust that guy?

E: Dude he has a philosopher's beard, thats the second most trustworthiness beard on the Beard Trustworthiness chart that there is!

by AkaEros October 27, 2011

Goat’s Beard

A Fu Manchu for your gooch; can be an erogenous zone for some.

My girlfriend loves it when I grab her by the goat’s beard and swing her around the bedroom.

by Crazy Khronos October 28, 2020