Some say it thirsts for blood; others say it is an innocent implement forced to do the bidding of murderous fiends. A disturbingly recurrent murder weapon, the Travelling Shovel Of Death appears in multiple different mediums (Usually novels), wherin it is featured murdering an innocent victim.
Henry knew his street well, but he didn't like it. The parameters stretched; the shadows hid secrets; the wind, ever restless, tossed the cloaks of strangers who glared from street corners. But he was sure in his safety. He knew the number of steps to his doorway. He knew where to lift his feet a little higher to avoid tripping on sidewalk cracks hidden in the dark. He knew who to avoid - at least he thought he did, in his naiveté.
A cat was waiting on his doorstep, that night. Dark, soft fur, long legs and a thrumming purr, yellow eyes glinting with reflections of far-off streetlights.
It smiled, sharp, glistening teeth ever white against the shadow of its fur.
In 42 years, Henry had never once seen a cat smile. Perhaps a trick of the light, or an illusion, he thought. Or maybe not. He knelt, looking the cat in the eyes.
It smiled at him, wider.
Wider.
A shadow moved; soft leather brushed against carpet, and a coat loosened its folds. "You're drunk again," said the voice. "Do you know, Henry, how much I dislike drunks?"
The cat hadn't moved; Henry glanced to the side, and caught a glance of soft brown shoes.
"Mr Woon," he slurred. "Ian. Mate. I just..."
He stopped.
Mr Woon smiled at him; a slow, langorious smile, not unlike that of his cat.
Then slowly, deliberately, he rested the shovel's tip on Henry's neck.
"I dislike drunks very much, Henry," he whispered.
Then he put his foot on the travelling shovel of death, and pushed down.
A cat was waiting on his doorstep, that night. Dark, soft fur, long legs and a thrumming purr, yellow eyes glinting with reflections of far-off streetlights.
It smiled, sharp, glistening teeth ever white against the shadow of its fur.
In 42 years, Henry had never once seen a cat smile. Perhaps a trick of the light, or an illusion, he thought. Or maybe not. He knelt, looking the cat in the eyes.
It smiled at him, wider.
Wider.
A shadow moved; soft leather brushed against carpet, and a coat loosened its folds. "You're drunk again," said the voice. "Do you know, Henry, how much I dislike drunks?"
The cat hadn't moved; Henry glanced to the side, and caught a glance of soft brown shoes.
"Mr Woon," he slurred. "Ian. Mate. I just..."
He stopped.
Mr Woon smiled at him; a slow, langorious smile, not unlike that of his cat.
Then slowly, deliberately, he rested the shovel's tip on Henry's neck.
"I dislike drunks very much, Henry," he whispered.
Then he put his foot on the travelling shovel of death, and pushed down.
by WillohWisp September 22, 2011
Get the Travelling Shovel Of Death mug.Nowadays used in a passive aggressive way (usually by the british) at school or somewhere public when someone tries to act big and bad or naughty when they're really just a try hard.
For example:
For example:
Person 1: Talk shit about me one time and I'll batter you - you hear me?
Person 2: Ooh, sorry roadman - I'm so scared - shiver me timbers!
Person 2: Ooh, sorry roadman - I'm so scared - shiver me timbers!
by British School Slang February 7, 2020
Get the Shiver Me Timbers mug.Related Words
shovel • Shovelface • shovel head • shove • Shoveling • shovel-ready • shove it • Shovel Dick • shovelfuck • Shovelling
A widely popular innovative brand of shaving cream sold in a jar or tube so it could be put directly on the face without mixing with a cup and brush. Famous for it's highway advertising using consecutive signs with catchy verses.
(Burma Vita company, 1930's- 1960s)
(Burma Vita company, 1930's- 1960s)
"If harmony is...
The thing... You crave... Get a tuba... Burma Shave"
"Passing schoolyards... Take it slow... Let the little...Shavers grow...BurmaShave
"Shaving brush...All wet and hairy...Trade it in...For sanitary... BurmaShave
The thing... You crave... Get a tuba... Burma Shave"
"Passing schoolyards... Take it slow... Let the little...Shavers grow...BurmaShave
"Shaving brush...All wet and hairy...Trade it in...For sanitary... BurmaShave
by teetiger October 20, 2008
Get the burma shave mug.by DrumlineDad December 9, 2015
Get the food shivers mug.When you decide you gotta shave, and after you do it you get lucid and instantly regret it because you look like a baby.
Jerry: Damn David you look like shit why did you shave?
David: I know bro, Post Shave Clarity just hit me hard
David: I know bro, Post Shave Clarity just hit me hard
by FanciestPseudonyms March 19, 2020
Get the Post Shave Clarity mug.by Wize.Online August 10, 2008
Get the Shave the Whales mug.An infinite consequence of drinking Sherry. Even if only consumed once it will haunt you till your death. Causes unannounced shivers occasionally throughout your life.
Ben: Tom, how are you cold? It's the middle of July!
Tom: I'm not it was just a Sherry Shiver. Ben: Those things are whack!
Tom: I'm not it was just a Sherry Shiver. Ben: Those things are whack!
by Genghistom November 19, 2016
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