Almond

noun
1. Acronym for "All-loving man or nearly dad".

2. An almond is a mom-friendly boyfriend or significant other who ticks most of the boxes for being "a lot like dad"

You really should meet Christoff, you'd like him he's such an almond.

by wordwrestler December 18, 2018

Almond Sauce

When you shit in a bowl of peanut butter and mix it up.

God damn, was Jerry so stoned that he had to make almond sauce?

by TheRealSpenceMan January 7, 2019

Floor almonds

Cockroaches

Damn, when I walk through this abandoned house, I could swear it's covered in floor almonds!

by Trixie1981 June 24, 2018

Sneaky almond joy

Whilst massaging a woman with coconut oil, the man uses one hand to lube up his penis with said coconut oil, making it taste and smell like an almond joy. He then slips it in the woman without warning.

I was giving Ashley a massage the other day, but her ass got me hard so I tried my luck with the sneaky almond joy. She loved it.

by Felix_liter June 27, 2018

Almond joy

Putting coconut oil on a women's ass hole and then licking it.

Jane put coconut oil on her bum and I almond joy'd it
Man the stripper totally gave me an almond joy.

by Breezy triple stack September 9, 2018

Almond

Someone who enjoys the sensual love of a goat or a camel.

Oh don't worry ladies he's not interested in you, he's an Almond.

by anonymous March 8, 2023

almond milk

The milk made from almonds'.

Person A: If almond milk is made from almonds', then do they milk the almond to get the milk
Person B: Sorry, what?
Person A: Do you milk almonds for the milk?
Person A: Like, you get normal milk from milking cows, then it makes logically sense if you milk an almond for the milk
Person B:Well, you make a good point but please shut the fuck up.

by Wojciech_Kowalczyk March 30, 2023