Almond

noun
1. Acronym for "All-loving man or nearly dad".

2. An almond is a mom-friendly boyfriend or significant other who ticks most of the boxes for being "a lot like dad"

You really should meet Christoff, you'd like him he's such an almond.

by wordwrestler December 18, 2018

Almond Sauce

When you shit in a bowl of peanut butter and mix it up.

God damn, was Jerry so stoned that he had to make almond sauce?

by TheRealSpenceMan January 7, 2019

Floor almonds

Cockroaches

Damn, when I walk through this abandoned house, I could swear it's covered in floor almonds!

by Trixie1981 June 24, 2018

Sneaky almond joy

Whilst massaging a woman with coconut oil, the man uses one hand to lube up his penis with said coconut oil, making it taste and smell like an almond joy. He then slips it in the woman without warning.

I was giving Ashley a massage the other day, but her ass got me hard so I tried my luck with the sneaky almond joy. She loved it.

by Felix_liter June 27, 2018

Almond joy

Putting coconut oil on a women's ass hole and then licking it.

Jane put coconut oil on her bum and I almond joy'd it
Man the stripper totally gave me an almond joy.

by Breezy triple stack September 9, 2018

Almond Brain

A person with a tiny almond sized brain.

"Steve has an almond brain

by Bubbebybsb November 14, 2023

Almond milk

Shit curry from birds

Randy (random guy): i think i like almond milk
Rando: d(f)uck off

by Just a smith November 20, 2023