Facebook shower

Facebook-shower (or morning Facebook) – the phenomenon when for a person the first thing to do in the morning is to read the Facebook feed.

Some believe that this morning information inflow helps the brain to wake up. So some people “switch on” their brains in the morning by reading news or destructing several rows of beads. Others believe that this presents a manifestation of information addiction, and one should keep a tight rein on such actions.

According to the research conducted by SOASTA, 92 percent of New-Yorkers start their day with a smartphone check. Most often, respondents open e-mail (67%) and read Facebook news feed (40%).

– Hey there Tom!
– Good morning Jesse!
– How was your start of the day?
– Well.. nothing special.. Facebook shower, coffee and Pokemon-Go walking to the office.

Facebook shower by digitalvocabulary.com August 17, 2016

Facebook Bipolar 

When you react to several Facebook posts in a row using different emojis.

Dude, are you alright? I saw you reacted to a bunch of posts on Facebook last night. You liked one, loved another, then you angry faced like 10 in a row...

Yeah man, I was just drunk.

Careful, cuz people are gonna think you are Facebook Bipolar.

Facebook Bipolar by Scott B. Foresman February 10, 2018

Facebook Nazi

The peoples behind the scenes at Facebook that unilaterally decide what should and should not be heard. What should and should not be read. What should and should not be seen. These are the ones that control "Free Speech" and decide if posts meet up to their personal political standards.

that Facebook Nazi banned me for using the word "white trash" to describe myself

Facebook Nazi by John1959 March 17, 2019

FaceBook Mom 

A mom who takes photos of them self with high angle, posts a lot on Facebook, picture perfect in photos, and always uses LOL. A Facebook mom posts so much on facebook and is on their phone a lot, even though they always tell their kids to get off of theirs.

Jerry: Omg my mom is such a Facebook mom!

Alice: yeah, she always makes us take photos and is on their phone.

FaceBook Mom by Mr.clean_1023 November 22, 2020

Facebook Fact-Checker

An AI whose job is to show Facebook users when a post is false, and cite articles to prove it. Unfortunately, it has several major flaws that turn it into a laughing stock:

Problem 1: It is extremely left-wing biased to the point of censorship. You will NEVER see a liberal post getting fact-checked, but by golly, they will slap every conservative post with a "false/misleading info" tag if it paints President Biden in a bad light. (But then again, it's Mark Zuckerberg. What'd you expect?)

Problem 2: It is denser than a black hole. It cannot detect sarcasm in posts at all, and will fact-check the stupidest posts that are obviously jokes.

Problem 3: The sources it cites are often not credible; see Problem 1.

Problem 4: Sometimes, the sources used actually prove that the post is indeed true, which is exactly the opposite of what it's supposed to do.

Facebook Fact-Checkers are as useless as wearing a face mask under the sea.

Facebook Fact-Checker by Ubeenbamboozledson September 13, 2021

Facebook Dad

Man who posts about their child on Facebook appearing to be a great father.

In real life makes minimal effort on anything to do with child and gets offended if this is pointed out.

Will use photos from child’s mother to appear he’s making an effort.

Too busy chasing women, Probably has a cocaine/drink problem and is banned from driving.

oh look he’s posted another photo on Facebook of his child without him present and with a generic unimaginative quote he’s such a typical Facebook Dad.

I never saw or see much of my dad he was more a Facebook Dad.

Facebook Dad by RealityHurtz1 February 14, 2023

Facebook Cuck 

When a man’s wife looks at another man’s Facebook profile, diddles herself, and makes her husband jack off while she diddles herself.

Bryan is a Facebook Cuck when his wife diddles herself to Brian’s Facebook profile picture and makes Bryans jerk off.

Facebook Cuck by Ron Don April 4, 2023