Captain Flex

Dude with a slim build who sees himself as more of a Scottiah adonis body god
Usually found peacocking around the floor for no reason
Throws out a random flex when a member of the opposite sex is around

Look at BB over there peacocking round those hoes, he is the real deal captain flex

by Jonsnowknowsnowt July 27, 2016

captain sarcasm

The arch-enemy of Captain Obvious, because unlike him, Captain Sarcasm just answers a stupid question with a rather crude or not sarcastic way. Or just simply states facts in a sarcastic way.

Stupid guy: "If I get bitten by a venomous spider, will I die?"
Captain Sarcasm: "No, you'll become Spider-Man."

Stupid guy: "How will my post card be delivered to my mom "by sea"?"
Cap. Sarcasm: "Swimming, obviously".

Stupid guy: "Do you need to use the bathroom?"
Cap. Sarcasm: *holding his crotch* "No, I need to go to the library and read a book".

by DiogoAttitude November 22, 2016

captain stupid head

A person who is so stupid and dumb that they drag along a crew with them and the whole crew ends up being stupid, so that makes them the captain of all the stupid heads

All Aboard, your captain today will be captain stupid head

by Captain stupid head December 22, 2020

Captain Marcel

A woman on a rescue mission for her sister that's down to the mountain. She requires back up. Let everyone know she went down to the mountain.

Hello this is Captain Marcel, My Sister went down, down to the mountain. I gotta save my sister.

by Shady256969 February 12, 2022

Captain Crunch

When drunk people fall down or get messed up in their drunken state.

*drunk person trips over curb and smokes face on parking meter*
Joe - "Wow, that dude just captain crunched!"

by OSO_LOCO January 21, 2021

captain saggy balls

An old grouchy man

Captain saggy balls over is always complaining about the prices of food.

by Captain saggy balls August 8, 2017

Captain jack sparrow

When your wife fslls asleep on your wedding night so to punish her you splooge in her eye, making her look like a pirate.

Had to sort myself out on my wedding night, here have some jizz in your eye, love you captain jack sparrow

by Daura2731 November 20, 2018