tallahasse oatmeal surprise

When you are giving a woman anal sex from the missionary position, then punch her in the stomach hard enough to make her throw up all over her tits. Then you pull out and ejaculate all over the throw up to make a nice creamy oatmeal. Spoons not included.

After this you top the creamy goodness with her crap that's still on your penis for the surprise.

We had the greatest Tallahasse oatmeal surprise tonight since she had to crap and the topping was extra thick

by motoboat August 8, 2010

St. Patrick's Day Surprise

Leaving a green colored bowel movement in the toilet for some one to find on St. Patrick's Day

It was after lunch time on St. Patrick's Day, I rolled into the men's room only to find out some one left me a St. Patrick's Day surprise.

by I want some crack March 17, 2010

surpe

cool, sweet

Man, that party last night was so surpe.

by surpe May 29, 2009

Surprise Cake

When you jack off over your girl while she's sleeping, and you wake her up just before you shoot your load.

She just got a big surprise cake in her face!

by Sillyfarmer-X February 29, 2012

Paddington Surprise

Fuck her from behind then come on her favorite teddy bear, then slap her in the face with it...that is the surprise.

Croke fucks bond from behind and then cums on his favorite teddy bear and then slaps him in the face with it..... thats the Paddington Surprise

by Croke-loves-Bond-cock October 16, 2009

rodent surprise

when a man uses a white hamster or gerbil as a condom. After he has spaffed he fishes out the mangled corpse which looks like what can only be described as hairy placenta. It is then fried or grilled and is an excellent with a sherry or on a hot summers day some pimms. To make a deluxe you must remove from the vagina and place into the rectum.

"good morning honey, i cooked you up a nice rodent surprise!"

"lets make this fucker a deluxe"

by moses okeffe japel September 3, 2012

Suomi Surprise

A sauna-like experience where one stands in a very small bathroom with the water on high heat for an extended period of time, often while masturbating.
Derives from the Finnish name for their country, and is based off their legendary love for saunas.

To perform a Suomi Surprise, one must:

- have a suitably small, preferably windowless bathroom so that the heat and steam do not dissipate too quickly. (Certain dorm showers with separate full doors and frames per stall work very well for this)

- have a suitably strong water heater, which will not become easily fatigued.

- have a chair, bench, stool, toilet, or sink counter to stand upon. This will keep your head in the clouds of steam.

- be completely naked.

Step 1.
Set your shower on very high. The hotter the better. Strip off your clothes as it warms up, and mount your pedestal.

Step 2.
If you plan on masturbating, doing so without porn is advisable. You will last longer, receiving more of the cleansing steam, and will also reduce the risk of damaging your electronics as the vapor condenses.
If you will not be masturbating, perform the yoga tree or mountain pose, and breathe deeply and slowly.

Step 3.
Sweat your ass off, and enjoy a sauna on the cheap, in the privacy of your own home!

"Kyle's Suomi Surprises are really starting to wear on me. After forty-five minutes, all the hot water is gone, and I think the humidity's dissolving the drywall!"

by BenevolentKarim January 3, 2016