This is the act of dressing ones self in a traditional chinese kimono, and self pleasuring using oriental sweet and sour noodles, while lying down on a rubber mat. At the same time, a small chinese woman sits in the corner trimming a bonsi tree.
"Yo paddy, how was the oriental wank?" "Tom it was very sensual. I even managed to get miss wong from the chinese to trim my bonsi after delivering my noodles"
by Blamblam25 August 30, 2018
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Get the Muddy Wank mug.Cross ur arms like your in a straight jacket and put ur nob between ur arms and move ur arms up and down
by Rian Cushing December 26, 2009
Get the Straight Jacket Wank mug.When you have a wank over someone you know who looks like an actress in a porn film. You split your screen to show the woman you know on one side of the screen (perhaps a Facebook photo) and the porn video with actress who looks like her on the opposite side.
Brian: "You coming down the pub mate?"
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."
John: "Nah, having a split screen reality wank mate."
Brian: "What's that?"
John: "Found a pornstar that looks like your sister mate, will load that up while looking at your sisters profile picture."
Brian: "You're a sick fuck mate."
by Jimmy Peters August 5, 2016
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Get the Porky Bum Wank mug.A wank with some challenges.
For instance, your phone may be nearly out of battery, so you have to hold your phone and charger at a particular angle to keep it charging. The movement will dislodge the charger at the worst possible moment, with the risk of phone dying being a real threat.
For instance, your phone may be nearly out of battery, so you have to hold your phone and charger at a particular angle to keep it charging. The movement will dislodge the charger at the worst possible moment, with the risk of phone dying being a real threat.
"Bruh I had a logistically challenging wank last night, Jesus Christ it was more difficult than doing the Christmas shopping
by cancerisnotaverygoodthing November 21, 2018
Get the Logistically Challenging Wank mug.A theory that says that the universe, life, and everything in between is the result of God releasing premature ejaculation.
by Pickle Richard October 11, 2019
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