Bernanke's beard

An immaculately trimmed shield of tangled facts and misleading information designed to effectively disguise an unpopular truth.

We're going to have to comb Bernanke's beard to find out what really happened.

by Expereal January 11, 2012

Beard Trustworthiness

Beard Trustworthiness is used to determine how trustworthy a particular beard/mustache is.

~~~Very Trustworthy~~~
Full Beard
The Philosopher
Goatee + Mustache

~~~Mildly Trustworthy~~~
Full Mustache aka The Wilford Brimley
Cop Mustache aka The Burt Reynolds
Chin Strap aka The Abe, The Lincoln

~~~Neutral~~~
Sideburns
Friendly Chops
Chin Tuft + Mustache aka The Colonel Sanders
Mutton Chops

~~~Questionable~~~
Sans Mustache aka Amish Beard
Curly Mustache aka The Handlebar
Goatee

~~~Threatening~~~
The Horseshoe aka The Hogan
Chin Tuft
Unkempt Beard aka The Homeless Beard
Neck Beard

~~~Dangerous~~~
Soul Patch aka The Landing Strip
Patchy Beard aka The Sidney Crosby
Pencil Thin Chin Strap

~~~Disastrous~~~
Werewolf
Pencil Thin Mustache aka The John Waters, The Joe Jackson
The Hitler

L: How do you know you can trust that guy?

E: Dude he has a philosopher's beard, thats the second most trustworthiness beard on the Beard Trustworthiness chart that there is!

by AkaEros October 27, 2011

lazy beard

When someone lets his beard grow because he is too lazy to shave it he grows lazy beard.

Woman: "Why are you growing beard? It doesn't look good at all."
Man: "Yeah I know but it's lazy beard."
Woman: "Oh, then it's okay!"

by llion March 12, 2008

Goat’s Beard

A Fu Manchu for your gooch; can be an erogenous zone for some.

My girlfriend loves it when I grab her by the goat’s beard and swing her around the bedroom.

by Crazy Khronos October 28, 2020

Bearded Barley

Barley is a wheat-like plant which is very common for its uses as a cereal. There is a Pearled Barley too, which is another variation of the same plant or the refined barley. "Bearded barley" may be just a mistake in the transcription of the lyrics in the song "Kiss me" by Sixpence none the richer from Pearled to Bearded barley, yet if it is indeed Bearded Barley it refers to a wheat-like plant which has overgrown and its ready for harvest, allowing a couple to take some comfort behind the bush.

-They went to kiss behind the bearded barley in the garden of the old manor.
-My barley is bearded! i should harvest soon

by anice_dude July 26, 2019

epic beard guy

While riding a bus, a rather ignorant black man approached what appeared to be a senile old man. Being the ignorant peice of shit his was, he proceeded to harass the old man and call him names such as pinky and crumple foreskin. Epic beard guy then responded by punching him in the jaw and then breaking his nose. He left the scene with the wise words "DONT FUCK WITH ME". The black man proceeded to talk shit even though he was bleeding everywhere and thus ended up looking like a stupid douchebag.

Epic beard guy: I slap the shit outta tough guys like you

Black douche: wha? WHAT?
(goes up and pushes epic beard guy)

epic beard guy then breaks his face open with his fists of fury

by Guy ledoucheys February 22, 2010

beard

The significant other of a person who is gay... BUT they are of the opposite sex. A beard is used to make the world think the gay partner is straight. Sometimes the beard knows they're a beard, and sometimes they're being deceived.

"I didn't want her to think that I was Gay and I was hiding it from her, and that I was using her as like a "beard". 'Cause that's what the whole internet probably thinks!" - Shane Dawson, Coming Out Video.

by ZebraSocks June 18, 2018