never-ending wipe

The act or process of continuously wiping your ass with no discernible progress whatsoever. Usually leads to anal chafing.

"Good Lord! This never-ending wipe combined with the John Wayne toilet paper is really chapping my ass!"

by b1g December 29, 2007

Kentucky wet wipe

When you spit on the toilet paper and then wipe your butt with it.

I feel super fresh, clean, and confident after my Kentucky wet wipe.

by Craigt113 April 13, 2019

born to shit, forced to wipe

real pain.

everybody likes to poo, nobody likes to wipe.

lady 1) im in pain.
lady 2) why?
lady 1) born to shit, forced to wipe *cries*.

by borntoshitforcedtowipe August 10, 2020

The Wipe of Faith

The attempt made by the unfortunate toilet user to be left with only a few sheets of toilet paper to finish the job with.

Often due to either not wanting to start a new roll or having no replacement; this bold attempt is only for those with true faith in the tissue.

"I can't believe you managed to get away with The Wipe of Faith, I tried the same thing the other day and ended up soiling myself"

by Andy Pineapple January 13, 2007

Alabama Wet Wipe

Where you spit on the toilet paper before wiping

Man my poope stuck to my butthole so I did an Alabama Wet Wipe and it worked like a charm

by Lilith_The_Destroyer November 2, 2020

Bread Wipe

When slices of bread are used to wipe your ass instead of toilet tissue.

Works best on very runny and soggy shits, especially a good alternative to cheap thin tissue in these circumstances.

I had runny shits yesterday, so decided to bread wipe.

by SunShizzle June 1, 2011

Dry Wipe

The most satisfying wipe job performed for rectal cleansing post defecation. To dry wipe, one pinches a clean turd and the subsequent wiping of the ass results in the toilet paper being clean and "dry" and free of any fecal remnants.

Roger was already running late for work but he felt the urge to take a dump before embarking upon his long commute to the office. Fortunately for Roger and his high fiber diet, he was able to pinch off a clean loaf and was able to dry wipe thus saving him valuable time.

by Eaton Holgoode September 27, 2015