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Schrodinger's Lawyer

A lawkeeper who decides whether they're client should plead guilty based on the verdict of the jury
Jury: *Whispering* Yeah, he's probably guilty

Schrodinger's Lawyer: Nows your chance!

Client: I plead guilty to the first degree murder of a family of 4

Jury: Oh, we were going to say he's not guilty, but whatever

Client: Aaaaaaaaaagggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

Schrodinger's Lawyer: Oops
by KorokDude August 25, 2023
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A Lawyer's Grief

Her son developed a form of schizophrenia... But wait! Schizophrenia doesn't usually develop until their 20s!
Hym "You did it again and your kids got murdered for it AGAIN and it lead to ' a lawyer's grief.' He probably knows who I am. That's why he's grieving. This is not the natural consequences of the things I have done. You are doing this to avoid being wrong. That IS the natural consequences of the things you're doing. THIS is an aberration."
by Hym Iam February 9, 2025
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Trump Lawyer

Low quality legal representation.
You got a speeding ticket, Mary? Well, don't hire that Trump Lawyer with the billboard off the interstate, you'll wind up convicted of treason.
by blahblahblahblahbla May 16, 2018
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minecraft lawyer

A person who constructs concepts that have to practical application
James is such a minecraft lawyer he lives in his own world and tries to get everyone else to follow.
by mancraft April 9, 2020
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Lawyer Andy

One who has a fiery temper and no tolerance for BS.
Who also keeps their emotions inside until needed then its a nuclear explosion.
A person who exploded their Terms of Service (TOS) & law on someone, who does or doesn't have a law bar in anywhere.

Pertaining content being using on a social media website
Make me understand something... This isn't a copyright protected.
Lawyer Andy: how is this content on here?
This isn't a copyright protected content.
Lawyer Andy: Did you ask the company for permission? You're going to be sued.
I bought the show and pay every month from a streaming service.
Lawyer Andy: when?
...
by freechickenmaniac May 5, 2023
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Lawyer

Lawyers always advertise about standing up for people on TV, the same way cops always talk about protecting people on TV. In the movie American Gangster, the actress fucking Russell Crowe's character Richie Robert's tells him to fuck her like a cop, not a lawyer. If cops are already full of shit, and you don't really want them to be the ones protecting you, what does that tell you about lawyers standing up for you?
Relying on lawyers to stand up for you is like waiting on the cops to come and protect you. If you do either one of those things, you're fucked regardess.
by Solid Mantis January 4, 2021
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