Skip to main content

Bavarian Handbasket

A Bavarian Handbasket, or 'hand basket', is a sex position for those "advanced nympho" ladies who would like to spice things up a tiny bit in the bedroom and perhaps get a somewhat different reaction from their partner/s than the normal, everyday whips and chains, S&M, and gorilla toss.

Here are the directions for for the nympholadies who are getting bored with finger-in-the-asshole-bj's, etc... They are very specific so be sure to write this one down on the back of your hand so you can read it and remember while doing it doggy style.

Steps-
1. Firmly grasp your partner's* genitalia, or balls, all the way at the top of where they hang down.

* If having sex with more than one man at the time, then repeat these steps as necessary.

2. When you have a firm grasp on them, rip out as many pubes on them as possible or to your liking, with your other free hand.

3. Take the pubes and lay them across your chest*.

*Really, anywhere on your body is fine. Putting them on your chest, however, is what makes this move Bavarian.

4. After removing all the sack pubes to your liking, twist the ball sack 360 Degrees. If this does not get a reaction from your partner right away, keep twisting as necessary.

5. After twisting the sack to your liking, pull it extremely hard and quick, forcing your partner to get on his knees.

6. When this is completed, separate and take your legs and put them on his shoulders*. Be sure that your feet are locked behind his head so he cannot escape.

*If screwing a midget, this step may be difficult.

7. Now take the ball sack and thrust it into your vagina as much as possible. Release your grip and jack off your partner until he cums*, while the ball sack is still twisted inside your vagina

*If there is blood, then you have done the whole process correctly.

8. You have successfully completed the Bavarian Handbasket. Congratulations! You may now smear your partner's pubes in his face.
"Dude, Carla did this thing to me the other night. She said it was called the Bavarian Handbasket or some shit... said she got it off urbandictionary or youtube or some shit."

"Well, how was it dude?!?"

"Dude...it was the best thing ever! She forcefully took my balls, ripped out their pubes, twisted my junk, and shoved it into her pussy, then jacked me off while it was still in there."

"Why doesn't Claire ever do that to me?..."
by musclemilk32 March 25, 2008
mugGet the Bavarian Handbasket mug.

handball

The best sport in the world, like tennis but not exacly. The most popular place in the world to play is coney island, Brooklyn, New York City
by JeVoNeR September 14, 2003
mugGet the handball mug.

handgasm

special handshake; also known as the queef shake; occurs while shaking hands where one or both people of the handshake allo their middle finger to stick out and tickle one another's palm;

similar to 'fingering' another's vagina but on the palm of one's hand
Aaron gave Shalini and handgasm after which she gave a great laugh of pleasure
by war the choata May 13, 2005
mugGet the handgasm mug.

Handbrake

A significant other, usually a girlfiend who does nothing but complain and attempts to take the boyfriends freedom away and crash boys nites. this is normally caused by the girlfriend being a loser or having no friends
ie. oh gosh ty cant go to the boys nite cos the handbrake is on
by spanky619 May 2, 2006
mugGet the Handbrake mug.

handable

when a girls boobs aren't that big, but at the same time, they are big enough for a squeeze
emma: MY BOOBS ARE SOOO SMALL
gary: not really, they're handable
by Emma&Gary :P June 17, 2008
mugGet the handable mug.

Handbag Potential

The ability of a male to make females jealous of his girlfriend, through physical attractiveness.
Relates to the jealousy created by a girl having a better handbag than her friends.
OMG that hotdog selling guy has amazing handbag potential!

Sure James is smart, but his handbag potential is way lower than Brads.
by Swiffyd October 1, 2012
mugGet the Handbag Potential mug.

to empty my handbag

To open ones bowels, take a dump etc,
Eg Im just off to empty my handbag (and goes to toilet)
by Bunny Boiler September 26, 2006
mugGet the to empty my handbag mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email