utility nail

When you let a fingernail grow (usually the thumb or index finger) so it's just long enough to perform handy tasks.

This can be useful for opening packages, scraping stuff, picking your nose (if you're so inclined), self defense, plucking a stringed instrument, itching scratches... etc.

Guy 1: Hey Bill, do you need some scissors to open that box?
Bill: That's ok, I have my utility nail.

Bill proceeds to puncture the plastic with his utility nail then rip open the rest of the box.

Sue noticed a spot of dried crud on her project just before turning it in. Luckily, she had her utility nail and was able to scrape it off.

by ichigodesuka June 2, 2009

Utility Closet

The utility closet, or "U.C." as it is otherwise commonly known, is the location of the fuse box, water heater, and power source for any house in Frindel Lane and/or Overlook Lane. They are commonly used for nighttime hangouts, and more often, areas for blaze sessions involving marijuana in many forms, such as a blunt, bong (see Jerome Baker), bowl, joint, spliff, steamroller, or marijuana-laden brownies.

"Let's go out back to the utility closet before all out."

"Where's Judd? I think he's back out at the U.C."

by LeBong James September 30, 2004

Utility Key

A key that one keeps on their key chain, from an old residence for example, to use as a tool/screwdriver.

The polar explorers thought that they might die of starvation, until Andy used his utility key to open the rations.

by CTword December 15, 2009

Utility boobs

When a woman stores most of her belongings (money, cell phone, ID, cigarettes, etc.) in her bra.

Charlie- "I asked to bum a smoke from Kristen and she pulled a pack out of her bra."

Steve- "She's got utility boobs bro."

by Steve-o B January 12, 2011

utility jerk

When you haven't masterbated in a while and need to clean out your system.
If not, your day will be spent staring at pictures and getting turned on by everything.

"I haven't masturbated in a while. I'm going to need to do a utility jerk if I want to get work done." ~ Mr. Regular

by fadumpt March 9, 2015

utility shower

A shower during which one shaves, takes a shit, and masturbates.

I woke up 10 minutes before a meeting, so I had to take a utility shower.

by TrashDefiner October 11, 2016

sport utility vehicle

A terrorist fundraiser on wheels. A machine that turns large amounts of the world's bloodiest conflict commodity into a poison gas so fat-rich people can get from their televisions to their sedentary jobs without having to stand up.

When filling your sport utility vehicle and watching the numbers on the pump go up, somewhere the same thing is happening to a terrorist's bank account. Stop buying these things you vain, insecure little twats.

by author October 14, 2006