Skip to main content

You need to talk to Jesus

You full of shit; you can tell that dung pudding story to someone else!
You need to talk to Jesus! He might forgive you, but I don't!
by talk2me-JCH2 October 9, 2023
mugGet the You need to talk to Jesus mug.

come to jesus

Getting called on the carpet, dressed down, or otherwise chewed out in a severe manner. Usually used in conjunction with "meetin'" (meeting)
He was late one too many times, so the old man dragged him in the office for a "come to jesus meetin'".
by Big Bob July 28, 2004
mugGet the come to jesus mug.

Five Clicks to Jesus

A Wikipedia game thats fun to play alone, but preferably with friends.
Someone shouts out a random word (whether it's an person/place/object it doesn't matter) and then the person who looks it up now has to follow a link from that page (counts as one click), then a link from that page etc., and they have 5 clicks to get from the original page to the Jesus Christ page.
I was playing the five clicks to Jesus game and it worked with everything! dildo, marijuana- they all lead to Jesus!
by Viper13 November 14, 2007
mugGet the Five Clicks to Jesus mug.

heels to jesus

Heels to Jesus

One of the nicer ways to to describe the penetration of the vagina via the penis. This phrase is best used around family and any other people who may find the words sex, fuck, bang, poke, pork, smash, ram, bump nasties, mix your milk with my coco puffs, and intercourse offensive. To be used judiciously among friends, families, and people you have sex with. There is not a more respectable way of describing the bump and grind than saying you've gone "heels to Jesus."
"Bro, I went heels to Jesus with Becky last night! I swear I had her speaking in tongues."
by _NoneOfYourDamnBusiness_ April 20, 2015
mugGet the heels to jesus mug.

I will send you to Jesus

Stephen He. When your failure is failing so much that not even failure managment will work on him.
by Lol, nub get skill February 3, 2022
mugGet the I will send you to Jesus mug.

come to jesus meeting

A meeting where someone close to you (e.g. friend, family, etc.) are confronted over behavior that's causing consternation that's negatively effecting your relationship.
"You and your brother need to have a come to jesus meeting over you always having to do his chores and yours."
by DC Daly May 12, 2009
mugGet the come to jesus meeting mug.

Come to Jesus talk

If you're going to perform...PERFORM! Or we'll find someone who will! A conversation usually between an employee and employer.
Looks like we're going to have a come to Jesus talk with Teddy if he wants to keep his job.
by Honey Pooh February 1, 2015
mugGet the Come to Jesus talk mug.

Share this definition

Sign in to vote

We'll email you a link to sign in instantly.

Or

Check your email

We sent a link to

Open your email