Hydrating the desk

When you are a bit of a tard and can't pour a drink without spilling it

Oh Doug! Stop 'hydrating the desk'

by Phil228 July 6, 2015

Under The Desk

When you suck up to a supervisor or need to do something to get the supervisors attention at work.

I need friday off, so whatcha say I meet ya under the desk in about 15 minutes.

by coby March 5, 2003

to push the Kleenex across the desk

To pretend you care about someone’s loss by making a perfunctory or meaningless gesture. This comes from the common experience of a Human Resources manager pushing a box of tissues across the table to a employee he/she fired.

Jimmy: Damn her. She told me she doesn’t want to be her girlfriend, but we that we can still be friends.
Tyler: Wow, it was pretty fake of her to push the Kleenex across the desk.
Jimmy: Yeah, she doesn’t care. She’s blowing some other guy.

by The Dumpstress March 24, 2020

waxing the desk

To wax the desk is to butt fuck someone doggy style and then when your done smear your rod all over the top of their ass.

Bill: Hey man did u score last night with that chick from the bar???

Jim: Hell ya, i even waxed her desk!!!

Bill: Damn i love waxing the desk...

by master desk waxer April 17, 2009

Under The Desk

A phrase originating from working in an office and having awesome secret things under the desk.

This may relate to an awesome secret boner from every time Anita from accounts walks past, shaking her tatas.

This may relate to your awesome secret stash of porn that you look at when you should be doing your homework.

Either way, the phrase "Under The Desk" relates to something that is undoubtedly awesome but not many people know about it so is secret.

Awesome and secret.

Have you heard the new album from that new band from Shoreditch? It's totally under the desk!

Yeah man, your new tailor made trainers are well under the desk!

Carla has awesome BJ technique. It's so far under the desk. Literally. Who knew?!

by tonyadams September 10, 2010

head to the motherfucking desk

1. What you use to respond to an idiotic question when "*head to desk*" or "*facepalm*" just isn't strong enough.

2. What you say when you've done something dumb when you were tired/inattentive/drunk.

3. What you do whenever Sarah Palin appears on the telly.

Mouthbreather Martin: "Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?"

Awesome Amanda: "*head to the motherfucking desk!*"

by QueenSlartibartfast March 21, 2010

The Great Desk Split of '18

The infamous event where Jamie was left all alone in his PORPER darkness.

Bro, you remember the great desk split of '18?

by DaoneandonlyJay October 18, 2018