Telebate

(verb). The act of masterbating while working remotely or teleworking.

John didn't get much done when he was working from home. He just wanted to telebate instead.

by Mdad28 January 3, 2014

teekers

A majestic feline, often with a floofy tail and a mane.

I’d like to introduce you to my teekers, Deebo. Don’t pet him for too long or he will bite you.

by Fleabo February 3, 2023

Programming Telekinetically

The practice of programming a computer without touching an input device of any kind, such as a keyboard or mouse. Easily confused with doing nothing at all.

Johnny might be sitting and staring at the computer, or he might be programming telekinetically.

by StanleyCup1967 August 28, 2009

tele-hell

1. When you really, really need to speak with a live person at a company, but the computerized call system keeps booting you around.

2. When a computerized call system keeps misunderstanding what you're saying, even when you're speaking super slowly and clearly.

1. (Dialing) "Oh, man, I really need to talk to someone about that $875 pay-per-view charge on my cable bill." "For account information, press 1. For sales, press 2." "No, no, I need a real person!" (Alternately pressing 0, asterisk, and the pound symbol) "Welcome to the outages hotline." Agggggh, I'm in tele-hell!!!" 2. (Dialing) "Oh, man, I really need to talk to someone about fixing my smashed phone." "For technical support, say, 'support.' "Suuh-pooort." "I think you said, 'USB port.' Is that correct?" "No, support! Suuuhhhh-pooooorrrrt!! Agggggh, I'm in tele-hell!!!

by WordOfArt July 19, 2010

TeleBears

1. What UC Berkeley students are forced to endure before every semester.

2. The shittiest, slowest, most outdated and least logical website on the World Wide Web. With programming carried over from when it was a telephone service (hence the name), all your info will be lost if you hit the back button, and its inner workings are a mystery to all. Although its stated purpose is to help students register for classes, what it really does is cause lots of stress, anger, and frustration.

"Fuck Telebears!" - common facebook status during the month of August

by bladibla August 4, 2010

teek

to continuously and intentionally confuse someone with the goal of getting on their nerves. the person who's teeked usually does not know they're being teeked (i.e does not know the teeker's intentions), but end up being confused and upset.

She keeps talking to him about politics. She's not really interested in politics, but she's just trying to teek him.

by Masterteeker December 28, 2016

telecide

A vehicular death resulting from driver distraction while talking, texting or tweeting. The penalty for this crime is life imprisonment in a phone cell.

Having finished applying her mascara, the driver of the car tweeted her friends to let them know she was finished, failing to notice that she was fast approaching a school crossing. The driver was arrested on a charge of vehicular telecide. The funerals of the four victims will be on Friday.

by Blue Ridge Bubba July 31, 2009