Teaching My Liver to Swim

Drinking heavily

Finals just ended and I am going to spend the entire weekend teaching my liver to swim.

by craptastrophy October 14, 2011

teaching grandma to suck eggs

Teaching some process which should already be known, especially to a person who should already know it.

"What does this woman think she's doing? Teaching multiplication to a Calculus class is like teaching grandma to suck eggs!"

by Douglas Baker August 4, 2005

teaching sweater

A type of sweater worn specifically by professional grade school teachers, who exhibit high levels of authoritarianism. The sweater itself is usually wool, cotton, or a combination of wool and cotton, and it typically is designed with horizontal stripes. Color scheme is ususally shades of blue, with white or black accents to punctuate one's level of professionalism and real worldism. A teaching sweater is not meant to be worn outside of the classroom, and the wearer should be careful to not be seen wearing it in highly populated, dense college towns that are high in bar and club stock. Wearage of such garb in these places ususally leads to embarassment for everyone involved.

Upon examination of of the exuberant grade school teacher's teaching sweater, a gaggle of Penn State frat boys proceeded to excessively hate crime him until the police arrived.

by Dan Himself July 27, 2006

Teaching Hubris

When a teacher that teaches an elective or other nonsense subject, such as chorus, assigns a large, time-consuming, difficult and mundane assignment in order to make your life miserable. They do this to make themselves feel better about the fact that they teach a subject that nobody cares about, trying to make themselves feel like an ACTUAL teacher. They often do this at a time when it is extremely inconvenient for you, for instance, when your time would be better spent studying for midterms.

Mike: "Did you hear about the research paper that the home economics teacher is forcing us to write on the history of muffins?"
Emily: "Really? When I have finals to study for? That is such teaching hubris."

by angrystudent13 May 10, 2010

teaching to the test

A method of education that focuses solely on teaching the material that will be on tests and exams rather than imparting a wider understanding of the overall subject.

Mr. Smith doesn't make his students care about the subject. He's known for just teaching to the test.

by shredmonkey February 22, 2013

In my 15 years of teaching...

When the teacher sits on her desk and says this, you *know* the entire class failed.

Friend: hey what did you get for math finals
You: I's got an f+
Friend: Oof
You: ikr
Teacher: *sits down on desk*
Friend: oh no here it comes
You: what comes?
Teacher: In my 15 years of teaching... I have never seen so many people fail the finals. It's literally THE FINALS!
*continues ranting for 3 hours*
Teacher: *takes a deep breath* Ya get that!?
Everyone: omfg finally

by TF2_Fan69 August 4, 2021

tearhanger

a movie or work of literature that is only sad enough to produce a tear that hangs on your eyelid or the side of your face, not run all the way down; a portmanteau of tearjerker and cliffhanger

I watched that movie expecting a good cry, but it was only a tearhanger.

by ogrplease July 1, 2016