Stretcher

Strech-er

Verb

1. The act of putting a drunk on a stretcher that is not alert and orientated enough to deny 911 transport.

"Yooo bro? I need you to pick me up. There is like 10 firefighters trying to stretcher me."

"I drunk I'm not promise. I do not want my ass to get stretchered!"

by Urban EMS March 14, 2019

stretcher drunk

Consuming such a rediculous amount of alcohol that you lose all motor functions , thus the only means of transportation is a stretcher.

Hey Matt you get tore up there other night? Matt- boy I got stretcher drunk they had to haul my ass outta there!

by Blazer1752 December 11, 2016

hose stretcher

a hose stretcher is a rookie in the fire service...some guys will have a rookie look for items on a truck and will usually have hose stretcher towards the end...

Battalion Chief-probie, have you found everything on this truck?

Probie-yes sir, i have found everything except the hose stretcher

fellow firefighter "laughs" haha

probie: whats so funny?

FireFighter-ur the hose stretcher probie

by IGFireFighter November 14, 2009

Board Stretcher

This is the device that you tell the rookie new-hire carpenter to go get for you out of the foreman's truck so you can get the board he just cut 2 inches too short to fit right in the new kitchen cabinet. It only exists in the minds of awnry carpenters who like to play jokes on the FNG.

Me: "Damn Hector you cut the board too short. Go get the board stretcher out of the foreman's truck, rookie."

Hector: "What's it look like?"

Me: "You'll know it when you see it. If it ain't there ask the foreman where he has it."

by auriuman April 4, 2011

cunt stretcher

A cock that's wide enough to stretch a cunt out.

His cunt stretcher really made that bitch scream, but you know she loved it!

by Cocktail Sauce #1 February 20, 2009

Pipe stretcher

An imaginary tool used to haze beginning apprentices on construction sites, by telling them to retrieve this tool from some other part of the site. Each time the apprentice arrives at a new location, the workers, who know there is no such thing as a pipe stretcher, play along with the joke by saying something like "oh, you just missed it--they're using it up on the third floor, so you'll have to ask them." The apprentice is sent all around the job site for the entire work day, or until the apprentice figures out it is a joke.

I need you to go down to the south end and get that pipe stretcher back from the iron workers.

by Ewizobeth May 16, 2014

The brown goat stretcher

The act of covering the male genitalia in poop. Then dragging the head of the penis across his partners beard. Note: While performing this act the scrotum should also be covered in waste and stapled to the floor. This is where the 'stretcher' in the name comes from.

We did "The brown goat stretcher" His balls hang out of his pants now

by DrPoopLove April 19, 2010