squat cobbler

A squat cobbler is someone who squats over pies (like apple and rhubarb), and rubs their buttocks over the oven warmed dessert for sexual arousal.
Some specialists opt to cry and sob whilst performing this act.

I would like to partake in Squat Cobbling to get myself off tonight.
Or
Look over there, that man's squat cobbling.

He is a Squat Cobbler.

by Jimmy MacGill June 22, 2016

Squatting cobbler

Fetish filming of person sitting on pie

He was afraid to share his fetish for squatting cobbler despite watching Fifty Shades of Grey with his companion

by Saul Fan September 3, 2016

squat cobbler

A sexual fetish, similar to sploshing/food sitting/cake farts, but specifically with the use of pies.

That dude's a squat cobbler... You know.. he gets off sitting on various pies. Boston cream, Dutch Apple, lemon meringue, if it's a pie he's sitting on it and loving it.

by mediaskate648 May 27, 2016

squat cobbler

Someone who gets a sexual thrill by sitting on pie.

"Sunny thought Bob had a foot fetish, but he turned out to be a squat cobbler guy."

by Manny Petty September 3, 2016

Squat Cobbler

A Squat Cobbler also known in some areas as a Hoboken Squat Cobbler involves a naked man sitting down on a pie and wiggling around. Crying may or may not be involved. It’s a fetish.

The squat cobbler loved having his picture taken while dressed as a baby.

by Sal T Penuz June 27, 2016

Squat Cobbler

It's when a man sits in pie and wiggles his penis around wearing a costume. Occasionally the man starts tearing up, therefore it's known as Crybaby Squad.

One might also stumble upon one of these definitions:
Hoboken Squat Cobbler
Full Moon Moon-Pie
Boston Cream Splat
Simple-Simon-The-Ass-Man
Dutch Apple Ass

(originated by the character of Saul Goodman in a television series "Better Call Saul")

SIMON: Bro, did you hear what Angela caught Patrick doing last night?
ALEX: No, what?
SIMON: He was sitting in a freaking apple pie wiggling his dick in cinnamon while wearing a Power Rangers outfit.
ALEX: Wow, what a squat cobbler, that guy.

by Clarkinator July 28, 2016

Squat cobbler

A type of fetish, usually recorded on video, where in a person sits in a pie and wiggles around in it for another person's pleasure. A common derivative of the squat cobbler is the crybaby squat, which involves crying when squatting the cobbler.

Aka Hoboken squat cobbler, full moon moon-pie, Boston cream splat, Simple Simon the ass man and Dutch Apple ass.

Jimmy: He wasn't a drug dealer; he was just making squat cobbler videos.

by Rainbowbandit July 15, 2016