Discipline the Simian

Discipline like spank, and simian as "relating to an ape or monkey." So it's a fancy way of saying "spank the monkey"

Dave: "Yeah, I saw that guy, he looked pretty hot."

Chris: "Fuck yeah. Excuse me I think I need to go uh...discipline my simian if you know what I mean."

by Clint November 5, 2004

Simian Infernus

Scientific name (in binomial nomenclature) for the Thermomonkey.

The Thermomonkey, simian infernus, is a flying, flaming monkey.

by Simian Infernus July 17, 2009

simian theory

the theory that anything can be made funnier simply by adding monkeys

We're going to run this add campaign completely on the simian theory. Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys people!

by jmusc February 4, 2010

Simian Simple

So easy a monkey could do it.

This is typically used to describe procedural steps that are so explicit that it would be nearly impossible to misunderstand them or do something wrong.

Aw, these instructions don't tell me half of what I need to know in order to do them. I need something simian simple.

by Barfor the Green June 29, 2023

filthy simian

A sexual position where the female supports herself on her shoulders with her legs spread upward in a "V". The male likewise spreads his legs widely enough that each partner's respective reproductive organs are in close proximity to each other. The male bends his penis downward to penitrate the female. Once coupled, both parties deficate and procede to copulate.

I had the best weekend, but I now have a nasty rash from the filthy simian I performed with X.

by jgogs April 9, 2007

Simian Cranial Cannon

This is the term describing the act involving one sick person and a (preferably) dead ape. This act requires the insertion of the penis into the nasal cavity of the ape and ejaculating as close to the brain of the ape as possible. If this position is achieved and semen reaches the brain, the ape will react as if it has been shot by a cannon, recoiling its head backwards. If it is alive of course. If not, you are a sick zoonecrophiliac.

"Guys, I'm gonna go do a Simian Cranial Cannon, be back in 5."
"Ok Peter, make sure its dead this time, unlike last time, OK?"

by Jacob Gilbert October 28, 2006

Captain Simian and The Space Monkeys

MIDI based Grindcore band composing of a group of gibbons.

Also an unsuccessful mid-90's cartoon.

"Captain Simian and The Space Monkeys sure do suck."

"Yeah."

by King Kweh September 10, 2005