simian theory

the theory that anything can be made funnier simply by adding monkeys

We're going to run this add campaign completely on the simian theory. Monkeys, monkeys, monkeys people!

by jmusc February 4, 2010

Simian Cranial Cannon

This is the term describing the act involving one sick person and a (preferably) dead ape. This act requires the insertion of the penis into the nasal cavity of the ape and ejaculating as close to the brain of the ape as possible. If this position is achieved and semen reaches the brain, the ape will react as if it has been shot by a cannon, recoiling its head backwards. If it is alive of course. If not, you are a sick zoonecrophiliac.

"Guys, I'm gonna go do a Simian Cranial Cannon, be back in 5."
"Ok Peter, make sure its dead this time, unlike last time, OK?"

by Jacob Gilbert October 28, 2006

Simian Simple

So easy a monkey could do it.

This is typically used to describe procedural steps that are so explicit that it would be nearly impossible to misunderstand them or do something wrong.

Aw, these instructions don't tell me half of what I need to know in order to do them. I need something simian simple.

by Barfor the Green June 29, 2023

simian's supper

the last hit, spliff or drink of the day that keeps the monkey off your back while you sleep

Jimmy didn't want to wake up rattling, so he had a simian's supper before he hit the sack

by The Turtle's Head September 22, 2010

Simian Jimmy

Mumkey Jones' new username following the ban of his Youtube channel in December of 2018. He is known most for his Mumkey's Anime Reviews and Elliot Rodger series, but now he has moved on to several different series, such as History of Humanities, the Depression Chamber, and Is it Kino?, for example. He does podcasts on the TrashRats channel, formerly known as State of the Youtube, and his channel called TM&BS, which stands for the Mumkey and Bigs show. His real name is Tyler and he was born on July 13, 1995.

Simian Jimmy is a good Youtuber.

by 111111111111131111111111111111 March 3, 2021

Simian Strike

(n). When you are slamming a woman from behind, and randomly give her a right hook behind the ear, and you just keep on going about your business. A euphemism for a monkey punch.

That stupid bitch got pissed when I gave her a simian strike last night, and she said just for that I cannot tea bag her anymore

by MonkeyPuncher October 4, 2021

Simian strike

When you are about to slam a woman from behind, but instead you fist it with an uppercut.

"She was waiting for me to put it in and instead I went all simian strike on her"

by TheBiggestHead October 5, 2021