phonetard

Noun: A person behaving abnormally, usually delayed or causing delay, due to cell phone use.

Traffic was moving along great until I found myself behind this total phonetard doing ten miles per hour under the speed limit.

We were leaving the movie but were stuck behind this huge, fat phonetard who was oblivious to the fact he was blocking the hallway.

Also phonetardedly (adverb, as in, to drive phonetardedly)

by geekboysteves January 24, 2010

Phonetard

Someone that has their phone in their face every waking hour of the day letting it control their lives to the point of being annoying to others.

My wife is a phonetard

by bgbbhhh September 28, 2022

phonetard

n. A person who may or may not be able to perform at a functional level in society, but is unmistakably absent-minded and inconsistent in executing his or her cell phone’s most basic operations (i.e. answering incoming calls, placing outgoing calls, acknowledging the receipt of a text message with an appropriate and coherent response) and in doing so in a prompt and judicious fashion.

adj. (Phonetarded)Having little or no sense of proper cell phone procedures and etiquette in the context of modern society.

Nate: Hey Rachel, have you talked to Emily lately? I've been calling and texting her all day but haven't been able to get a hold of her. Do you think she's ok?

Rachel: Yeah she's fine. I was with her all day. She heard her phone ringing from the other room but chose not to answer it because she didn't want to get off the couch. Then, when she finally got her phone and saw that you called, she said she was going to call you back but I think she forgot that like 20 seconds later. You know she's just a phonetard.

by deltsruletheworld August 5, 2008

phonecrastinate

To put off answering the phone until caller ID displays the incoming name and number.

I hate phone solicitation...so much so in fact, that phonecrastination is a way of life for me now.

by DrWatson September 10, 2005

PhoneCD

Derived from OCD, PhoneCD is when someone needs to have their phones on them at all time and checks it every 5 seconds.

Dude put your phone away! This is your grandmother's funeral! I think we need to get medicine for your PhoneCD.

by AJennings June 20, 2011

phonehold

When someone holds their phone while making a call.

I need to phonehold this person I'm making a call with.

by XtremeDramer November 26, 2018

Phone Cord

What happens when an older man unzips his pants, pulls it out, and it dangles loosely like a phone cord.

I only sleep with younger men, I'm sick of the ol phone cord.

by Patty.E. June 12, 2018