ONAN

Stands for One Network America News network. Sometimes mistakenly referred to OAN, ONAN is a small-time, mom's basement "news" operation. Shows are typically hosted by distended colons and strung-out gap-toothed cam girls. Owned by Gil "Red" Herring, their only real claim to fame is the manufacture and marketing of matching sets of presidential knee pads and butt snorkels.

"Did you see that 'reporter' from ONAN at the federal conronavirus briefing? What do you think will happen first--she finally gets her adult teeth, or she promotes out of fifth grade this year?"

by ToddUncommon April 7, 2020

Onno

A man with a very large penis and who has intercourse with a lot of women.

“Is that Onno !?”
“Yeah I’ve been told his penis is 13 inches long and once was in a 10 person orgy, with 9 girls!”

by Thatwigga April 12, 2020

Onanism

Colloquially it is a synonym, but technically the "Sin of Onan" for which it is named for is actually an instance of coitus interruptus.

"Onanism -- it's a hands-on job"

-Ghost, ENTER THE MATRIX

by Jay Jay Ron March 20, 2008

Onno

A name given to someone with a very large penis and who has intercourse with a lot of people.

“Is that onno?”
“Fucking hell his dick is huge.”
“I was told he was in a 10 person orgy with him and 9 other girls!”

by Thatwigga April 12, 2020

onani

Japanese way of saying masturbation.

Josh: Man I'm so stressed.
Elucid: Go do some onani.

by EnlarqueIl EnGrotesque December 5, 2007

onanism

to wank,
to tame the one eyed monster,
to make the cyclops cry,
man's favourite outlet,
a date with mrs palm and her five
lovely daugters,
toss yourself off,
etc etc

"now on the subject of onanism...we dont want to find you hunched double on the sofa bed pumping your fist" (league of gentlemen)

by pinkpill December 1, 2004

conversational onanist

A term for a person who talks to themself.

My husband has told me on numerous occasions that I am a most talented and prodigious conversational onanist.

by Dr Bunnygirl June 12, 2020