Pork Scotch Moustache

A small white moustache sported by bald security guards to prove they can grow hair. If the security guard is particularly old, fat and ugly he'll believe his moustache makes him good looking and suave.

Who's the gimp with the Pork Scotch Moustache?

That's Pork Scotch, the fat, ugly security guard.

by flappy dickwad May 6, 2009

Moustachery

Noun. 1. Activities or shenanigans most commonly associated with people adorning any number of face ornaments (moustaches) and usually associated with alcohol and/or a lack of pants. 2. A local establishment or residence where clientele are known for sporting mustaches and speaking of ridiculous sexual escapades that may or may not be true.

1. I've had enough of this moustachery, put your pants back on! 2. We decided to retreat to Charles's moustachery, so that Richard could elaborate on his most recent sexual exploits in the Philippines.

by theironpig January 12, 2010

agui mustache

A mustache on the upper lip of a teen who hasn't hit puberty yet and resembles pubic hair on the upper lip

Yo did you see Chris today he had an Agui Mustache

by 1sexysonofabitch May 17, 2014

urinal mustache

When the mens room at your office building has not been cleaned for an amount of time that allows the rim of the urinal to collect pubic hair. The collection then appears like a mustache on the rim.

I almost puked when I had to use the restroom and the urinal mustache tickled my hand.

by halpleh November 1, 2008

kellers moustache

1. A KELLERS MOUSTACHE is when a male performs oral copulation upon another man, in a manner that is more homoerotic than normal homosexual acts.

2. A mustachioed gentleman who has an insatiable craving for the taste of another man's ejaculate.

I couldn't afford any more points on my license so I had to give the cop with the German accent a Kellers Moustache.

by Espaldas Rompio February 16, 2017

dust mustache

When an old man gives you a facial.

Knies gave her a dust mustache, eww he's old.

by SuckItYork August 26, 2016

Mustache Spongebath

When a mustachioed man goes down on a girl. Like dipping a paint brush into a can of paint, he fills the bristles of his mustache with her lady juice. He then uses his pussy-juice soaked mustache to coat her body with her own girl cum, like a nurse cleaning a patient with a wet sponge.

Me: "Last night Sarah was feeling extra dirty so she asked me to give her a mustache spongebath."
Sarah's Mom: "What?"
Me: "Just cleaned her up a bit."

Sarah's mom: "Oh, that's nice."
Me: "You have no idea."

by Mike E. Coyne April 11, 2017