Hand Fertilizer

Alternative form of hand sanitizer, used when Hand Sanitizer is no longer available. Commonly found after jacking off or inside your mom's stomach.

Hospital Entrance Temperature Checker: Let me get your temperature. Here's a new mask and some hand sanitizer.
Person shortly self admitting to Psych. Ward: No thanks, I brought my own Hand Fertilizer. *Whips out dick* *Starts spanking it*
Hospital Entrance Temperature Checker: Oh deer God! Security!
Person shortly self admitting to Psych. Ward: Spiderman! *makes deer noises*

by Calypso Handjack December 19, 2020

Fertilize the Fertilizer

The act of ejaculating into the toilet after you've finished making a #2, either as a type of kink, or because you didn't feel like flushing it first.

Guy 1: "Hey bro, I'm gonna go fertilize the fertilizer 'cause I'm too horny to bother flushing my shit first!"
Guy 2: "Too much info bro, but alright!"

by IsaacLechten October 21, 2016

the fertilizer

doing it with a chick in the garden, then at the last moment, pulling out, sticking it in the ground and "fertilizing"

i gave our garden the fertilizer

by the chippster March 7, 2010

the rag fertilizer

a cool word to describe a super horny chronic masturbator.

The rag fertilizer Nathaniel lets go of all his anger and frustration with a good quick wanking while thinking of his long lost boy toy.

by nates small weiner August 11, 2010

Fried and Fertilized

How sluts/whores like their eggs.

Waiter: How would you like your eggs ma'am?
Girl : Fried and fertilized, thank you.
Waiter: ...

by KewlCat101 January 15, 2011

Fertilized

An awesome pickup line.

HEY BABY YA WANA GET FERTILIZED???

by #Animals4life May 26, 2018

Fartilized

When someone does so many smelly farts that the room is over powered my the miazma.

Toby has totally fartilized the room.

by Gailstar January 27, 2009