Trouble, by Another
Name
The
woman who stays.
Imagine being handed a map of my broken bits and a rowboat for escape.
Not running.
Choosing.
Russian steel in the morning, meditation in the afternoon, Mother’
s fierceness at dinner.
“I am enough” tattooed on your hip —
though we both know you’re still debating that one.
Solicitor by day (scary smart).
Buddhist by practice (smug about enlightenment).
Muse by design. Mine by poor judgment.
Fancy face. Does what it wants.
Dry wit that draws actual
blood.
Legs that break laws.
Time is your most expensive currency. Four thousand weeks on earth, if we’re lucky.
And somehow you’re spending some of yours on a man who crashes your
sleep and makes you hike through Welsh rain.
That’
s either devotion or a
genius-level mistake.
I’m betting on devotion.
The real trouble?
I think you like it.
Ekaterina
1. “Mate, she’
s not a
woman, she’
s an Ekaterina. I missed one text and suddenly I’m emotionally audited, spiritually improved, and vaguely afraid she’d
cut my penis off if I cheated.”
2. “I thought Burning Man would be intense until I met an Ekaterina — same spiritual awakening, same sleep deprivation, but with better cheekbones and legal qualifications.”
3. “You know it’
s serious when she stops being ‘that hot Russian
girl’ and becomes ‘my Ekaterina’ — which is roughly the moment you realise Trouble has a meditation practice.”
Katya
1. “I was fine until Katya arrived. Now I’m hiking in
Welsh rain, sleeping four hours a
night, and calling emotional devastation ‘growth.’ Trouble.”
2. “Dating Katya feels less like a relationship and more like a hostile legal integration with excellent kissing.”
3. “Honestly convinced Katya was a sexy raver
girl in a past life. Nobody moves their
bottom that much confidence.”
Katyusha
1. “
Don’t be fooled by the meditation voice. Katyusha is still Trouble in a cashmere jumper.”
2. “Had one disagreement with Katyusha and somehow ended up in mediation with myself.”
3. “A Katyusha doesn’t raise her voice. She just tilts her head slightly and suddenly you’re apologising to the furniture as well.”
