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Jehovah's Bystander

Victim: Did you see that?
Jehovah's Bystander: No, I witnessed fuck all.
by Thrasher1504 November 14, 2006
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guystander

noun /ˈgɑɪˌstæn·dər/
a person (typically male) who stands by and watches another/others struggling to do something and does not help or lend a hand, but does offer unsolicited advice on how it should be done or could better be accomplished

synonyms: expert bystander, know-it-all rubbernecker, mansplainer (see mansplaining)
As they struggled to drag the heavy object across the room, a guystander came to their rescue by rolling up his sleeves and telling them how to drag it more efficiently.
by measson May 20, 2018
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Bystander Intervention

Male Feminist Virgin: I saved that girl by using bystander intervention.
Self-Respecting Male: No. You cock blocked a husband from making love to his wife.
by Sultry Santa August 19, 2019
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Bystandard

A Fart or a sudden explosion of anal gas.
Jesse left a huge and smelly bystandard next to yo mama.
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Innocent bystander

There's no such thing as an innocent bystander in real life. People are not animals, and are therefore not innocent in the true sense of the word. Every person thought to be a bystander has done something wrong in their life, and many if not most of them are usually not standing by in a passive manner most of the time, despite the bystander description some people use for them.
There is no such thing as an innocent bystander. To call someone an innocent bystander is to underestimate them.
by The Original Agahnim July 28, 2021
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Inocent Bystander

the people wo get shot during my reckless drive byes in my new benz
i was doin a drive by and shot this inocent bystander
by DeVonTheDucer July 31, 2003
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Innocent Barstandercize

Made popular by the popular Chicago etiquette blog, Innocent Barstander.

-To publicly criticize someone whose public behavior is rude, obnoxious, or disruptive, often with comedic results.

-To exercise a deep passion for reinforcing proper etiquette in restaurants, bars, and clubs, such as how much to tip, how to dress, how loudly to speak when ordering drinks, etc. by chastising offenders.
That obnoxious woman is being a real cunt to her date and their waiter. I'm gonna go Innocent Barstandercize her ass. Meet me outside.
by strjock81 June 6, 2011
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